The Uninvited Guest (El Habitante Incierto) - 2004

What It Is: A bad ass psychological romp from Spain.

Why I Watched It: I have no idea. I stuck it in the Netflix Queue for a reason, but I'll be damned if I could remember why.

What I Thought: Sneakily, unexpectedly awesome!

Dude has a spat with his girl and she moves out. As soon as she does, he starts hearing odd noises in his house. He starts to believe these noises are made by someone in the house. As time goes on, dude starts to think these noises are actually being made by someone who's living in his house.

And the bizarrely fucking awesome just amplifies from there!!

Highlights: Parallels man, parallels.

Who Should See It: Smart people that like crazy, cool, weirdly, awesome movies.

How Soon: Sooner the better. This one's really good people!

Review Dump - June 2008

War, Inc. - 2008

What It Is: Witty satire on the privatization of the military.
What I Thought: Equal parts funny, thought-provoking, and scary!

Robocop - 1987

What It Is: Old-school ultra-violent sci-fi action movie.
What I Thought: I watched some graphic shit as a kid, and still love it today!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - 2008

What It Is: The first Indy movie in 19 years.

What I Thought: Just as awesome as the originals, and Shia was cool too.

F*ck - 2005

What It Is: A fun and funny documentary on a very flexible word.
What I Thought: A lot of really fucking funny fuckers enter-fucking-tained me.

Fool's Gold - 2008

What It Is: Adventure film with the dim-witted but lovable McConaughey.
What I Thought: A dim-witted but lovable film.

The Edge of Heaven (Auf der anderen Seite) - 2007

What It Is: A gritty drama by the director of Head On.
What I Thought: Visceral, but not quite as cool as Head On.

Soldier - 1998

What It Is: A fucking awesome Kurt Russel sci-fi flick!

Why I Watched It: It was free and I couldn't remember if it was good or not.

What I Thought: I was . . . moved.

You think I'm joking? Not at all.

On the surface, Soldier is a sci-fi actioner about an aging vet that's replaced by a new breed of genetically engineered super soldiers only to face off against them when they threaten innocent refugees. If that's all it had going for it, Soldier still would've been entertaining.

Dig just a bit deeper (chemically aided or otherwise), however, and Soldier has a whole lot more going for it. It's really the story of a little boy handpicked by the military to be the perfect soldier. This boy (and others like him) was raised by the military from birth. Instead of playing, he learned close combat. Instead of catch, he learned how to keep his shot group tight with an automatic weapon. Most importantly however, he was never taught anything else. He was never socialized beyond military discipline, he never interacted with civilians and he never got a vacation. You get the idea.

So when you go deeper, Soldier is about this little boy who's forced to interact with civilians for the first time in his life. Abandoned by the military that trained him, he has to find a new purpose in life. He has to cope with his PTSD. He has to learn to let his guard down. He has to learn how to be human!

Not only is this emotional ride pulled off brilliantly, but Soldier struck me pretty hard because it resonated strongly with me by reminding me of my military friends and my 'Nam vet father. I strongly feel this was Kurt Russel's best performance EVER. When he's doing soldier things, he's a calm and confident alpha male. When that same grown man is hugged for the first time ever, he's a quivering frightened little boy. It's fucking amazing!

Highlights: Kurt's boyish blue eyes, the growl, Sean Pertwee, Gary Busey, fun action and an emotionally gripping story!

Who Should See It: Action fans, soldiers, and Russel or Busey fans.

How Soon: Sooner the better. Moved, man, moved!

Zeitgeist, The Movie - 2007

What It Is: Documentary about controversial conspiracy theories regarding Christianity, the 9/11 attacks, and the NWO.

Why I Watched It: I heard it mentioned on Hometown Tales just before a buddy said "it'll literally change your life."

What I Thought: Extremely thought provoking.

Any of you that know me already know my #1 rule for movie watching. Have No Expectations. Did you ever notice how many people don't say a movie was bad or poorly edited, but instead say they were "let down"? You can't be let down if you never expected anything from the film to begin with. Forgetting what you want or need the film to be and simply enjoying it for what it actually is is the key to being a movie slut.

That said, I'm guessing no one knows my #1 rule for documentary film watching, but it should be no surprise. Documentaries Are Biased. A documentary, and media in general, is biased because the people creating it are biased. It's human nature and it's unavoidable. Even an American made historical documentary about Napoleon's exploits of 200 years ago would be selling a completely different view than a French made film about the same events. Does this mean documentaries are pointless to watch? Absolutely not! It just means you may have to watch more than one to get the whole story. Zeitgeist in particular, is selling a fairly unique viewpoint. These views have been around for a while, of course, but not readily available.

What views are we talking about? Well, Zeitgeist posits that Christianity as a whole is just a poor mash up of the Egyptian religion and pagan astrology, but it's links to pagan tradition should be pretty common knowledge to most. The film then puts forth evidence that 9/11 was a False Flag operation. In all honesty, that was my gut reaction when I watched it live on the news and I haven't yet been convinced otherwise. The last section of the film covers the (not at all)Federal Reserve Bank, secret cabals of international bankers, and their plans to unite the world under a global government that would make Emperor Palpatine proud. This last part was completely new to me.

Zeitgeist was a lot of thought provoking fun. Much like a Michael Moore documentary, the film was heavy handed with its sales pitch. But just like a Moore documentary, Zeitgeist's particular pitch was a side of the story we weren't hearing anywhere else. With the media covering the "War on Terror" every day, it's nice to finally see another side of the coin. Hell, it's nice to be reminded that coins are two-sided to begin with!

Ready for the best part? Zeitgeist is completely free! Watch it online via the website or download it with Bit Torrent for free. Watch this movie, but retain your critical thinking skills and stay just as skeptical of their facts as you are of everyone else's.

Highlights: Far too many juicy bits to mention. The whole movie is chock full of conspiracy, cover-ups, secrets, and more.

Who Should See It: Free thinkers, conspiracy theorists, skeptics, and anyone that doesn't eat what's shoved in their face without first asking "Wait. Where did this come from?"

How Soon: Now! Why not? It's fucking free!

Outpost - 2008

What It Is: Military horror featuring invisible Nazi super soldiers and Unified Field Theory!

Why I Watched It: Military horror is almost always worth my while.

What I Thought: I wasn't disappointed.

A team of mercenaries leads a scientist to an old Nazi bunker. They think he's looking for Nazi gold, he's really looking for the secret "device" at the bottom. They find a bunch of dead bodies that were apparently used as test subjects. Test subjects used to create invincible, immortal Nazi super soldiers that can turn invisible at will. Super soldiers that have been waiting at the outpost all this time. Waiting to for fresh victims.

Cue the dramatic music.

It sounds cheesy and weird. I assure you it is. But it's also incredibly good fun!

Highlights: The machine, the inclusion of unified field theory, mention of the U.S.S. Eldridge and the fascinating wikipedia search it inspired, and Invisibly Invincible Nazi Super Soldiers!!

Who Should See It: Military Horror fans.

How Soon: Anytime.

Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead - 1990

What It Is: Tim Roth and Gary Oldman in the untold story of Hamlet's most minor characters.

Why I Watched It: Recommended by a trusted friend.

What I Thought: I'm fairly certain that this very funny movie would have been even better if I went in knowing something about Hamlet. I have no aversion to Shakespeare, but Hamlet is one of his works I never got around to seeing/reading.

Roth and Oldman are as fantastically excellent as you would expect. I believe this is only the second time I've seen Oldman in a comedy role and the guy's really fucking good.

The plot is lots of fun because it follows the existentialist misadventure's of Hamlet's minor characters and enlightens us on all their ridiculous activities between their appearances in the Hamlet story proper. The very best of which is a Question Match they hold on a tennis court involving a sort of debate following tennis scoring. It sounds weird, but it's amazingly awesome to watch.

Highlights: Roth and Oldman succeeding marvelously in comedy roles, an excellent performance by Richard Dreyfuss deserves mention as well, the Question Match, and the general level of philosophical absurdity throughout the whole picture.

Who Should See It: Fans of Shakespeare, Roth or Oldman. Fans of existential comedies like I Heart Huckabees and Being John Malkovich.

How Soon: Next time you want to do some thinking with your laughing.

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song - 1971

What It Is: Melvin Van Peebles' classic indy flick that basically started the blaxploitation genre.

Why I Watched It: It's a classic piece of film history.

What I Thought: Awe inspiring.

The film, considered by many to be the origin of black film making, begins with a simple dedication: "This film is dedicated to all the Brothers and Sisters who have had enough of the Man."

That's exactly what Sweet Sweetback is about. Sweetback is a brother in the wrong place at the wrong time. When the white cops begin hassling him, he decides he's just not going to take it anymore. In Melvin Van Peebles' own words, it's "about a brother getting the Man's foot out of his ass."

The film was a surprisingly huge box office success and it's revenue was due almost entirely to the black community alone. Peebles put it best, "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song made a zillion dollars before four white people had ever seen it." The film grossed $4,100,000 at the box office, encouraging a predominantly white Hollywood to begin paying a little more attention to black audiences.

When Van Peebles sat down to write the film, he came up with a list of things to consider. The first three were most important:

1. "No Cop Out" - He wanted to tell it like it is, without pulling punches.
2. "Must Look As Good As Anything Chuck Ever Did" - Chuck means whitey.
3. "Entertainment-Wise, a Mother Fucker" - I think he succeeded.

Watch the fucking movie! The movie is rough and raw, but also very real. Don't expect Hollywood gloss and happy endings, but take a little glance at true film history!

Dig This: "They bled your brother... they bled your sister... But they won't bleed me!"

Who Should See It: Blaxploitation fans, film history buffs, and anyone that wants to stick it to The Man!

How Soon: Grab the DVD when you're ready for something unusual.

Gone Baby Gone - 2007

What It Is: A kidnapping mystery set in Boston, directed by *cough* Ben Affleck.

Why I Watched It: A reliable source told me it was surprisingly good.

What I Thought: Reliability goes a long way, it was good!

A little girl is kidnapped. A PI is hired to find her. He ends up digging into layer upon layer of cover up and conspiracy that twists the plot at least 3 different times. Awesome!

I really can't say enough about the plot twists and unfolding mystery of the story. It was one of the most interesting, involved, and surprising mysteries I've seen in a long time. So many modern films focus so heavily on a big reveal at the end, that they forget to make the most of the rest of the film. Gone Baby Gone doesn't have that problem. Layers upon layers my friend.

Casey Affleck is amazing as the private detective put on the case of a missing girl. I was very pleased to see that his partner/girlfriend in the film is the too-awesome-for-words Michelle Monaghan (from Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang)! Aside from these two badass leads, Gone Baby Gone features some incredible supporting performances by Ed Harris, Titus Welliver, and the always good Morgan Freeman, and Amy Ryan who earned herself a Best Supporting Actress nomination for the part. If you haven't gotten the picture, the acting in the movie is well above par.

The last thing that needs addressed is the moral questions presented in Gone Baby Gone. Many movies give you an interesting moral dilemma to discuss with your friends afterward. At the end of Seven, we're left wondering if what Pitt's character did to Spacey was right, wrong or somewhere in between. Gone Baby Gone gives us a hell of a moral quandary about halfway through the film, inviting you to decide whether the protagonist did the right thing. Then it compounds the issue further, blurring the black and white choices to increase the grey area. Then later, another revelation increases the grey area even more. By the end of the film, the moral issue is so grey there simply is no right or wrong. At that point, Gone Baby Gone invites you to ponder what the "right" decision is, when there is no "right" decision.

When the movie ended, it left me in a deeper state of reflection and general fucked-up-ness than even Requiem For A Dream had. That's fucking powerful!

Highlights: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, layers of mystery and one giant of a moral dilemma!

Who Should See It: Mystery fans and people that enjoy having a LOT to talk about after a film.

How Soon: Whenever you're ready for one of the best films of 2007!

Death Sentence - 2007

What It Is: Kevin Bacon's vigilante justice movie.

Why I Watched It: I dig revenge movies and the grapevine had lots of good things to say about the film.

What I Thought: It was a pretty good revenge flick. Kevin Bacon has never been one to draw me to a film, but he's never been a reason to avoid one either. He was convincing throughout his progression from family man, to victim, to angel of death.

The story follows Kevin Bacon as he watches his son die at the hands of a street gang, then hunt his son's killer, then fail to protect his family when the street gang seeks vengeance of its own, and finally transform into a determined killer. The fact that Bacon practically transforms into the very thing he hates is a strong message throughout the film. Parallels are often drawn between Bacon and the gang's leader. This fact is one of Death Sentence's best qualities.

They hurt someone you love, so you hurt someone they love. Are you no better than them? Are you just like them? These a big theme in the film and it's enough to set the movie well apart from other revenge flicks.

Highlights: A surprise cameo from John Goodman, an amazing quote regarding "the gift of freedom" and very realistic depictions of violence that drive home the realism and prevent Death Sentence from becoming an action movie.

Who Should See It: Revenge fans and Bacon fans.

How Soon: It would make a damn fine rental and allow for some good conversations afterward.

No Country for Old Men - 2007

What It Is: An intense Coen brothers (Fargo, Miller's Crossing...) drama based on the novel by the same name.

Why I Watched It: It was enough that it was a Coen brothers film, but I was also curious about the now infamous "ending" that has audiences in a twist.

What I Thought: No Country was good, really good.

The movie follows a guy that happens upon a drug deal gone wrong and decides to run off with the cash he finds. Interested parties send a psycho after him and a haggard old cop tries to protect him. This synopsis, does no justice to the film whatsoever. Those were the images on the screen, but they were definitely not what the movie is about.

I think No Country for Old Men was really about violence, death, crime, and murder and how frequently futile it can be to understand them. The movie shows a lot of violence, but often leaves it unexplained. The movie's villain often kills for unknown reasons, or maybe no reason at all. You never see what went wrong at the drug deal, but that's not what the movie's about.

The movie opens with some voice over from Tommy Lee Jones' sheriff character talking about how criminal motive is often unknowable. No Country conveys that exact same feeling to the audience by leaving much of the "plot" unexplained. The movie ends with almost no resolution whatsoever, but real life doesn't always wrap things in a bow.

Aside from all the story stuff, the whole production was executed masterfully. Josh Brolin was very enjoyable as the "protagonist that isn't really", Tommy Lee Jones was a fantastic grizzled old sheriff. But Javier Bardem simply stole the show. He was the hired killer trying to track down the money and was one of the best, creepiest, most disturbing villains I have ever seen on film. Amazing.

Highlights: Inexplicable violence, pulse pounding gunfights, quotable dialogue, and Javier Bardem's entry into the cinema villains hall of fame!

Who Should See It: Coen brothers fans, independent movie buffs, and anybody that wants to ponder why bad guys do what they do.

How Soon: If you're looking for a meaningful film, there's not much else at the theater now. But I think the message will still be there on DVD.

Roger Dodger - 2002

What It Is: A dark comedy about a womanizing uncle and his nice guy nephew learning important lessons from each other.

Why I Watched It: Dark comedies are yummy and I dig films with protagonists that ooze confidence and status.

What I Thought: It's a decent little movie. Roger spends the flick giving seduction advice to his nephew while the kid reminds Roger about the importance of being a good person.

Campbell Scott plays an excellent high powered, big city asshole, admirable and contemptible all at once. Jesse Eisenburg was entertaining as the nephew as well, pitiable and respectable simultaneously.

While this was a standard "character receives important life lessons and becomes a better person" type movie, Roger Dodger is interesting for two key reasons. The particular lessons involved mostly relate to woman and dating, things every guy should know, and the women used to demonstrate those lessons are played by an interesting mix of actresses.

Roger Dodger features such gorgeous woman as Isabella Rosselini (Blue Velvet), Elizabeth Berkley (Saved By The Bell), Jennifer Beals (Flashdance), and Morena Baccarin (Firefly). Almost every actress with lines was someone important, someone capable of keeping your eyes from wondering off screen. They really helped to highlight the film, making a good movie just that much better.

Highlights: Jennifer Beals is always fun to watch in all the strange movies she pops up in, but the highlight of Roger Dodger was definitely the few minutes spent with the exceptionally beautiful Morena Baccarin!

Who Should See It: Fans of black comedies and anyone that could use a little advice for dealing with women.

How Soon: No hurry.

High Tension (Haute Tension) - 2003

What It Is: A movie that single handedly proves French cinema is capable of more than artsy romances.

Why I Watched It: I've seen a ton of French films and was more than intrigued at the rumor of a French slasher film, done well!

What I Thought: Bloody brilliant!

Cécile de France is incredible as the main character, but the rest of the cast is only mediocre. Not that it matters that much. We don't watch slasher films for the quality acting now do we?

The violence and gore in High Tension are ratcheted many notches above the vast majority of half-assed American horror films. High Tension also plays on our expectations of the slasher genre with a few unexpected twists and turns.

Watch the Unrated Version. Unlike most "extended" or "unedited" DVDs out there, High Tension's NC17 cut includes an entire death scene completely removed from the R version as well as many deliciously gruesome seconds worth of gore that really drive the guttural impact of the film.

It deserves mention that High Tension isn't simply an excuse for bloodshed. There is a very interesting story underlying all the violence that will leave you thinking long after the movie's over.

Highlights: Gruesome death scenes, only the second film I've seen that features oral sex with a severed head, many deaths are drawn out just enough to hit you with some extreme discomfort, interesting twists and plays on the genre, and one bad ass chick with a barbed wire bat!

Who Should See It: Horror fans, slasher fans, or people that think all foreign films are black and white silent films about romance or love.

How Soon: Grab the Unrated DVD and settle in for 1.5 hours of delicious discomfort that only a well crafted gore-fest can bring!

High Tension (Unrated Widescreen Edition)

Honesty: Funeral - 2007

Check out my thoughts on the other Honesty shorts!

Honesty: Funeral
One word does come to mind, and that is "co-worker."

Unknown - 2006

What It Is: A clever movie about identity and choices.

Why I Watched It: I have no idea. Seriously. Sometimes movies just have a way of... popping up in my Netflix Queue and I can't remember what caused me to put them there. Unknown was one of them.

What I Thought: The acting wasn't wonderful, but it definitely didn't detract from any enjoyment during the film. That's more than I can say about quite a few movies.

The story for Unknown is where the awesome really is! Five guys slowly come back to consciousness, they're locked in a small warehouse, most of them are injured, one is tied to a chair, and one is handcuffed and shot. None of them remember what happened! In the first 10 minutes of the film, they learn that criminals will arrive in a few hours.

It becomes a race to find an exit and a race to remember which side they're on. Who's a criminal and who's a victim?!

Highlights: Trust is handled very nicely and there are a few good twists as people remember things they'd rather not.

Who Should See It: Anybody that wants a good mystery.

How Soon: Put it on your list. You'll be pleasantly surprised when you finally get around to it!

Tuesdays With Morrie - 1999

What It Is: A feel good, made-for-TV movie based on a best-seller. Mitch discovers that an old college professor is dying and begins spending every Tuesday with him for lessons regarding the meaning of life.

Why I Watched It: Will recommended it to me and working with the same guy for 6 years tends to give him a pretty good grasp of my movie tastes.

What I Thought: Will was right, I loved it! Tuesdays With Morrie made me laugh, made me cry, and made me analyze the way I'm living my life.

It was that last part that sold the whole package for me. I fancy myself a philosopher and completely agree with the iconic Socrates quote, "An unexamined life is not worth living." I watch a LOT of movies and I probably like over half of them, but my favorite films, my very special favorites, all leave me with pearls of wisdom that I spend the rest of the week thinking about. The very best movies actually inspire me to change the way I have been living my life. Yes, it's actually happened a few times. Maybe I'll do a special post about them sometime.

I digress. Back to Morrie...

The plot itself follows the pretty sad tale of a financially successful, but troubled, man re-establishing a relationship with his favorite college professor. It just so happens that this same professor has mere weeks to live. If that sounds sad to you, then this movie will definitely make you cry. It jerks the tears like a pro. Yet, if Tuesdays With Morrie was only about this interpersonal drama it would lose 80% of its real worth. Ultimately, Morrie has a message. He wants to share it and his old student, Mitch, is desperate to absorb all that he can.

Morrie spends most of the movie spouting off pearls and observations that are far too numerous to mention here. I'll pull some examples off of the quotes page on IMDB:

- When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
- Death ends a life, not a relationship.
- The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.
- We must love one another or die.

All the bits of wisdom are very Gandhi/Buddha-like and they mostly deal with how we relate to others and ourselves. If any of the above phrases sparked a moment of contemplation, you should really see this movie.

Highlights: The story about Morrie's "silent" lecture, 80% of the stuff coming out of Morrie's mouth, Jack Lemmon's last role as the always upbeat Morrie, and the awesome-as-always Hank Azaria wonderfully portraying Morrie's student (though he was really just speaking for the student in all of us).

Who Should See It: Philosophers, deep thinkers, drama fans, and people that enjoy the "message" behind movies like American Beauty, Pay It Forward, etc.

How Soon: Rent it! Netflix it! See this movie!

Tuesdays with Morrie

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - 2005

*If you're not sure why this post looks different, read the explanation.*

I was lucky enough to catch Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang in the theater during its all-to-short run. Ive been waiting impatiently for the DVD ever since! Watching the movie the first time really caught me off guard and its just as pleasantly surprising on the small screen at home. I originally got excited due to the extreme lack of publicity that this secret Val Kilmer flick was getting. Kilmers low key projects seem to be some of his best work. Remember The Salton Sea? What I didnt expect was to be blown away by an awesome story, incredibly fun (and funny!) dialogue, and fantastic performances by Kilmer, Robert Downey Jr., and a pre-MI:3 Michelle Monaghan!

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is a murder mystery in the best old fashioned, pulp detective story sense possible. Taking that into consideration, I naturally cant give away too much of the plot here. It should be sufficient, however, to say a few things. A guy makes his living as a petty thief on the east coast. One night, a job goes bad and he gets chased by cops. During the chase, he decides to duck into a building and suddenly finds himself in the middle of a movie audition. The thief aces the audition and immediately gets whisked away to the west coast to become a big star. The studio execs assign him to shadow one of L.A.s finest private detectives in order to research his new part. After witnessing a murder, the detective, the struggling actress, and the thief (thats pretending to be an actor thats pretending to be a detective) must solve the mystery or theyll end up dead.

Confused? I wouldnt blame you. The movie, within a movie, within a movie, wrapped in an enigma would be incredibly hard to keep track of without the superb narration by Robert Downey Jr. as the thief. Not does the narration provide the glue that holds this convoluted story together, its exceptionally witty asides are the cherry on top of the delicious sundae that is Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. It seems that Hollywood in general has become too afraid to use narration as a storytelling device these days. A good narration provided by one of the films main protagonists can be a great source for inside information about the characters thoughts and motivations. I think its a terrible shame that this device isnt used more often, but perhaps it is that very rarity which creates such a pleasant surprise when it is used.

The incredibly witty narration reflects the awesome dialogue and story penned by Lethal Weapons Shane Black. The banter between characters is some of the best Ive ever seen! The film includes a myriad of priceless lines that will be instantly to your repertoire of movie quotes. While remaining consistently funny, the dialogue also manages to stay realistic. I never got the impression that the characters were too funny or that people in the real world never would have come up with a comment like that. Its also worth a special note that approximately every 20 minutes or so, something completely unexpected happens in the film. These WTF? moments constantly caught me by surprise, took the movie in an entirely new direction, and provided periodic reminders of just how fantastic this story was.

Although the best scripts can be easily ruined by bad acting, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang has nothing to fear in that department. Val Kilmer nails his role as the private detective, Gay Perry. He provides the perfect foil for the thief played by Robert Downey Jr. Sometimes a run of bad roles or mediocre scripts can make me forget exactly how much I like certain actors, it has been a long time since Wonder Boys and The Salton Sea. This little film reminded me of the talent that these two stars can bring to bear when a good script actually calls for them to step up. Michelle Monaghan adds a fresh face and a little spice to the mix as the thiefs high school dream girl struggling to find an acting career in LA. Her performance as Cruises wife in MI:3 doesnt showcase her talents near as well as this one, although thats probably not her fault. I can easily see Tom Cruise saying cut some of her lines so I can have more.

Sadly, the only unfortunate experience about the Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang DVD experience is the actual DVD treatment itself. An exceptional movie is supported by nothing more than a mediocre outtake reel, the theatrical trailer, and a commentary track including Val Kilmer, Robert Downey Jr., and director Shane Black. Disappointed by the gag reel, I turned my hopes toward the commentary. I was initially excited to learn that the lead actors and the director were on the same track. That excitement didnt last long when the seemingly tired voices began discussing the film or each other, but rarely pointing out anything truly interesting. From a film that cost a mere $15 million to make, only to make $4 million at the box office, its no wonder that there wasnt a lot of surplus funds to make an amazing DVD. Although, I bet a better DVD would go pretty far to compensate for that box office loss. I think the only hope now is to rent or buy the movie, tell your friends about it, and hope for the inevitable special edition should this movie ever achieve the cult status it deserves.

Do I wish the DVD had some cooler features? Of course. Am I glad I bought it anyway? Hell yes! As always, the decision is ultimately up to you. If nothing else, itll make a damn good rental! I recommend Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang for anyone that appreciates good acting, better scripts, dark comedy, detective stories, and a movie packed with so much wit that it has to be seen twice just to catch all the jokes. I dont suggest Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang to people that like their detective stories serious and humor free, people that prefer low-intelligence humor, or anyone thats too easily frustrated if they cant keep up with the jokes.

The Upside:Sarcastic, funny, smart, fast paced, surprising, and just plain fun!

The Downside:Horrible DVD treatment. Seriously. If not for the loss in sound or picture quality, this movie might as well be on VHS!

On the Side:The bear in the beer commercial is voiced by none other than Laurence Fishburne!

Making the Grade:

The Film: A

The Delivery: B

The Extras: D

Overall: B

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (Widescreen Edition)

Hard Candy - 2005

*If you're not sure why this post looks different, read the explanation.*

Final Grade: B

Remaining hyped up on creepy, psychological horror from seeing Silent Hill a week ago, I was extremely intrigued by the plot of a little Independent movie titled Hard Candy. It was the uniqueness of the storyline that drew me to theater and it was the same unique storyline that kept me glued to my seat for the entire film! I am quickly becoming a fan of Lions Gate Films.

In a nutshell, I gathered from the trailer that Hard Candy was a Hitchcock-esque thriller about a 32-year-old man that takes a liking to a 14-year-old girl he meets on the Internet. As it turned out, I was right. However, the trailer also led me to believe that this little thriller included a not so familiar twist. As it turned out, I was right again.

Hard Candy is the story of a professional photographer named Jeff Kohlver and his new acquaintance Hayley Stark, the teenage girl hes been flirting with online. Jeff is surprised when Hayley asks for a face-to-face meeting so soon, but he still accepts without hesitation. After a few of Jeffs casual mentions about going back to his place, hes still surprised when Hayley hastily volunteers. A little more flirting takes place during the short car ride and a little more after arriving at Jeffs place. It is here, 20 minutes in, that the movie takes a hard left turn. It quickly becomes apparent the Hayley has been planning this casual encounter for a very long time. Jeff, the poor bastard, has no idea what hes gotten himself into.

It was this plot twist that made the movie seem so unique to me. After scanning the official site for the movie, I learned that this was exactly what the producers had in mind The initial inspiration for Hard Candy was a spate of real-life attacks that took place in Japan. Producer David Higgins read about the cases, in which schoolgirls turned the tables on older men trolling the Internet for underage dates. After one girl established an online relationship with a man, she and her friends would ambush him at a pre-arranged rendezvous. It opened an interesting and different perspective on who was the predator and who was the prey, the producer recalls. Then I thought: what if it was just one girl going after Internet predators? Id never seen a movie about a 14-year-old vigilante do-gooder. Neither had I Mr. Higgins. Thanks for making the first!
Hard Candy's unusual plot is driven by its equally unusual leading actors. There are no Colin Farrels or Hillary Duffs here, the movie is helmed by Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page, two almost completely unknown actors. With 99% of the film consisting of interaction solely between Jeff and Hayley, the entire story rests on their performances alone. And they deliver! Patrick Wilsons Jeff is at various times tortured, introspective, filled with rage, and pathetic. Yet, it was Ellen Pages Hayley that was the true surprise. The character of Hayley was believable as everything from an innocent girl to vengeful torturer and everything in between.

The simplistic approach to film making felt like a good choice as well. The entire movie takes place in only three locations, and the coffee shop and car ride consist of a mere 20 minutes or so. The movie was not about exotic locals or a hit soundtrack and every behind the scenes decision emphasized this point. Hard Candy is about the battle of wits between to very different moralities. The directors extensive use of close-ups are a constant reminder of just how personal this story is intended to be.

Hard Candy is an excellent depiction of a mental battle between predator and prey. The movies real strength is in the constant confusion over who exactly is predator and who exactly is prey. The film kept me guessing about outcomes and kept me thinking about moral repercussions just as a I would expect from any good independent movie. Director David Slades film has impressed me a great deal and I am now extremely excited that he will be directing the film adaption of 30 Days Of Night! I would recommend Hard Candy to Thriller Fans, Suspense Fans, Hitchcock Fans, and Indie Film connoisseurs. I would not recommended to Delicate Types that may find the subject matter too intense or anybody that desires more action and less dialogue from their movies.

The Upside: Psychological, creepy, mysterious, intriguing, nice twists, and very well acted. Best antagonist Ive seen this year!

The Downside: Some of the head games may feel drawn out and slow for some viewers. While the movie is unusual, not enough of it (aside from Ellen Pages performance) is amazing.

On the Side: The title comes from Internet pervert slang for an under-aged girl.

Hard Candy

The Cathedral (Katedra) - 2002

What It Is: An Oscar nominated short film from Poland who's groundbreaking artistry serves as a prime example for CG animators everywhere. I think Platige Image (The Cathedral's creators) describes the story well, "a pilgrim who come to the Cathedral on the border of the known world. He wants to find the answers. He finds calmness."

Why I Watched It: It was actually shown to me in a New Media class a while back. The whole class fell silent for six minutes as this amazing little film took our breath away.

What I Thought: Fucking Amazing! The Cathedral is a very simple stories, yet it can be talked about it, discussed, or debated for hours. The animation is among the best I've ever seen and the music is beautifully appropriate. I'm not one to talk much about music or score, since I'm not that musically inclined, but having no dialogue whatsoever means the music has to convey the story as much as the action does. And it does. Wonderfully!

Highlights: Beautiful! Most potent sunrise ever! Fantastically inspiring music!

Who Should See It: Fans of computer animation and anyone of even a remotely creative bent (writers, artists, poets, musicians). I think The Cathedral really will "speak" to all of you!

How Soon: How about right now?

Honesty - 2007

Why I Watched Them: I happened upon the Honesty shorts while watching Comedy Central's new show dedicated specifically to web shorts.

What I Thought: I've seen all shorts available on AtomFilms so far and they're all hilarious! They involve all sorts of everyday situations and show you what would be said if people were totally honest with each other.

I'm even a supporter for brutal honesty, but these little gems show you that some things are just better left unsaid.

Highlights: Too many to mention. Every line of dialogue in each 1.5-2.5 minute short is well thought out and precisely delivered. You've really got to see 'em to believe it!

Who Should See It: Well... you. Didn't I just tell you to watch them?

How Soon: How about right now? What the hell else are you doing, reading blogs? Just click the titles below to get started!


Honesty: Wedding
And now, Carly and Dan will exchange their own poorly written vows...



Honesty: Black Mailman
This handshake differentiates him from all the uncool white people.

Honesty: Bathroom
It's important that no one he works with knows he actually poops.



Honesty: Date
Something thoughtful, and unexpected, and nice — that is so creepy!

Fido - 2006

Why I Watched It: It's a comedy about zombies. A zomedy! (Hear that? It's the sound of a new genre being born...)

What I Thought: Excellent movie! Take some amazing character actors, dress them up as the Cleaver's (That was "Leave it to Beaver's" last name. Yes, he was Beaver Cleaver.), give them a pet zombie played by Billy Connolly, and make the entire movie a brilliant homage to yesteryear. That's Fido!

Fido takes place after the zombie problem has been brought under some semblance of control. Zomcon has developed collars that appease the zombie's hunger for flesh, which of course makes them natural candidates for mowing the lawn and helping around the house. What could go wrong?

Fido spends as much time parodying shows like "My Three Sons" and "Lassie" as it does classic horror films like Frankenstein, Night of the Living Dead, and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The movie was well written and well executed. Dialogue, set, costume, acting, and cinematography all worked together to make Fido an awesome tribute to the 1950's. Fido reminded me of other films where the dialogue and style of the movie help insert you into the proper time period, movies like O Brother, Where Art Thou? and The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.

The acting was marvelous as well. Billy Connolly was a fun (if unfortunately silent) Fido, Carrie-Anne Moss was the PERFECT 1950's housewife and mother, Timothy Blake Nelson was as exquisitely eccentric as usual, and K'Sun Ray (despite the strange name) played an excellent 50's era son.

And I really can't say enough about smart comedies. It saddens me deeply that movies like American Pie and Oldschool, with all their toilet humor and sexual inadequacy, actually pass for most people's idea of comedy in this country. I like my comedy witty and pointed, movies like O Brother and I Heart Huckabees.

*Cruising the net, I just found the "official" website for Zomcon. Check out the site, if it cracks you up as much as it did me then you'll know Fido is the movie for you!*

Highlights: Carrie-Anne Moss's best acting yet. Brilliant parodying of everything from era television and commercials to nuclear paranoia. Memorable scenes of post-zombie life such as school children taking "outdoor instruction" which meant practicing at the rifle range and chanting mnemonics like "In the brain and not the chest. Head shots are the very best." Excellent dialogue gems like "What is it [Fido]? Where's Timmy?" No movie has ever included so much delicious gerontophobia, "Old people can't be trusted."

Who Should See It: Comedy fans, horror fans, classic movie fans, classic TV fans, and nostalgic baby boomers.

How Soon: Run to the theater as soon as it releases in your local artsy movie house. Fido is really good and really funny. For the rest of the summer, you probably won't see anything better hit the theater!