Solarbabies - 1986

What It Is: In a post-apocalyptic desert, only a group of rollerskating orphans can free to world's water supply from the tyrannical government.

Why I Watched It: Bad '80s sci-fi kids movies practically guarantee entertainment value!

What I Thought: Childish, corny, and weird, but very, very fun.

The kids find a sentient extra-terrestrial sphere and it grants them the power to stand up to the man and bring down a tyrant.

Tank Girl - 20 Somethings + Teens - Tank + Skates = Solarbabies!

Weird, but fun is all I really need to say.

Highlights: A surprising number of '80s B-list actors, terribly '80s racial stereotypes, and rollerskates with 4 wheels!!!

Who Should See It: For anyone that was a kid in the '80s, Solarbabies is great nostalgia.

How Soon: It's definitely not going anywhere.

Salute to the Jugger (The Blood of Heroes) - 1989

What It Is: Only a super cool, post-apocalyptic, Australian, sports movie starring Rutger Hauer, Delroy Lindo, and Vincent D'Onofrio!

Why I Watched It: My buddy told me the concept and I just had to see it.

What I Thought: Fucking incredible! Take all the goodness of your stereotypical sports movie (*see below) and combine it with the goodness of gladiatorial combat, Mad Max, and Rutger Hauer.

Civilization is ruined, the only sport is brutal and violent. It's known only as "The Game" and no one knows why it came to be played with a dog's skull.

It that's not enough to get you itching to see the film, you should start looking for your inner child because you must have dropped it somewhere. If the movie does sound interesting, then there's nothing else I can say that will get you more excited than you already are. Just watch the fucking movie!

I have one last question for anyone left doubting how cool this movie is: How many other films lead to the creation of their very own sport?

That's right kids, there have been real Juggers for over 10 years!

Highlights: The Game and the Juggers are awesome, Joan Chen is a kick ass "qwik", and the dog's skull is an amazing touch!

Who Should See It: Sports fans, action fans, and sci-fi fans everywhere.

How Soon: Soon! It rocks!

*You know the one. Where you watch the underdogs work their way up the ranks until they face off with the undefeated team, only to get their ass kicked for most of the game until they finally pull out a win with mere seconds on the clock. It's only the plot of every sports movie ever.

Balls of Fury - 2007

What It Is: A comedy about a secretive underground ping-pong circuit.

Why I Watched It: Christopher Walken.

What I Thought: Balls of Fury was much more fun than I expected!

Humor me enough to allow my math/logic mind yet another equation to represent this film...


Enter the Dragon - martial arts + ping-pong = Balls of Fury

Really. The film follows the same plot as Enter the Dragon, but uses a ping-pong tournament instead of a martial arts championship. Surprisingly, it works!

Highlights: Maggie Q is quite the cutie, Dan Fogler was a good lead, Jason Scott Lee was hilarious, the cameos were fun, and Christopher Walken was awesome!

Who Should See It: Fans of comedy sport movies (Dodgeball), Christopher Walken fans, and people that won't mind a parody of Enter the Dragon.

How Soon: When you need a good laugh.