The Uninvited Guest (El Habitante Incierto) - 2004

What It Is: A bad ass psychological romp from Spain.

Why I Watched It: I have no idea. I stuck it in the Netflix Queue for a reason, but I'll be damned if I could remember why.

What I Thought: Sneakily, unexpectedly awesome!

Dude has a spat with his girl and she moves out. As soon as she does, he starts hearing odd noises in his house. He starts to believe these noises are made by someone in the house. As time goes on, dude starts to think these noises are actually being made by someone who's living in his house.

And the bizarrely fucking awesome just amplifies from there!!

Highlights: Parallels man, parallels.

Who Should See It: Smart people that like crazy, cool, weirdly, awesome movies.

How Soon: Sooner the better. This one's really good people!

Review Dump - June 2008

War, Inc. - 2008

What It Is: Witty satire on the privatization of the military.
What I Thought: Equal parts funny, thought-provoking, and scary!

Robocop - 1987

What It Is: Old-school ultra-violent sci-fi action movie.
What I Thought: I watched some graphic shit as a kid, and still love it today!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - 2008

What It Is: The first Indy movie in 19 years.

What I Thought: Just as awesome as the originals, and Shia was cool too.

F*ck - 2005

What It Is: A fun and funny documentary on a very flexible word.
What I Thought: A lot of really fucking funny fuckers enter-fucking-tained me.

Fool's Gold - 2008

What It Is: Adventure film with the dim-witted but lovable McConaughey.
What I Thought: A dim-witted but lovable film.

The Edge of Heaven (Auf der anderen Seite) - 2007

What It Is: A gritty drama by the director of Head On.
What I Thought: Visceral, but not quite as cool as Head On.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (Das Parfum – Die Geschichte eines Mörders) - 2006

What It Is: A beautiful, if difficult to explain, German film.

Why I Watched It: Recommended to me by a few close friends.

What I Thought: Incredible!

Perfume tells the story of an orphan in 1700's France with a supernaturally potent sense of smell. He becomes obsessed with cataloguing and experiencing every smell in the world. But there is one smell far more intoxicating than any others, the smell of innocence. Unfortunately, this proves a very difficult smell to preserve and his attempts lead to the murders of a several local virgins.

Perfume was beautifully executed from the uniquely disturbing (and equal parts enthralling) story, to the excellent camera work, and the great performances. This movie was fantastic because of and in addition to its strangeness. What more can you really ask for?

Highlights: Gorgeous girls, an excellent lead by Ben Whishaw, beautifully shot, and an awesomely original story!

Who Should See It: Dark fantasy fans, slasher fans, and crime buffs.

How Soon: Now!

Soldier - 1998

What It Is: A fucking awesome Kurt Russel sci-fi flick!

Why I Watched It: It was free and I couldn't remember if it was good or not.

What I Thought: I was . . . moved.

You think I'm joking? Not at all.

On the surface, Soldier is a sci-fi actioner about an aging vet that's replaced by a new breed of genetically engineered super soldiers only to face off against them when they threaten innocent refugees. If that's all it had going for it, Soldier still would've been entertaining.

Dig just a bit deeper (chemically aided or otherwise), however, and Soldier has a whole lot more going for it. It's really the story of a little boy handpicked by the military to be the perfect soldier. This boy (and others like him) was raised by the military from birth. Instead of playing, he learned close combat. Instead of catch, he learned how to keep his shot group tight with an automatic weapon. Most importantly however, he was never taught anything else. He was never socialized beyond military discipline, he never interacted with civilians and he never got a vacation. You get the idea.

So when you go deeper, Soldier is about this little boy who's forced to interact with civilians for the first time in his life. Abandoned by the military that trained him, he has to find a new purpose in life. He has to cope with his PTSD. He has to learn to let his guard down. He has to learn how to be human!

Not only is this emotional ride pulled off brilliantly, but Soldier struck me pretty hard because it resonated strongly with me by reminding me of my military friends and my 'Nam vet father. I strongly feel this was Kurt Russel's best performance EVER. When he's doing soldier things, he's a calm and confident alpha male. When that same grown man is hugged for the first time ever, he's a quivering frightened little boy. It's fucking amazing!

Highlights: Kurt's boyish blue eyes, the growl, Sean Pertwee, Gary Busey, fun action and an emotionally gripping story!

Who Should See It: Action fans, soldiers, and Russel or Busey fans.

How Soon: Sooner the better. Moved, man, moved!

The Core - 2003

What It Is: Sci-fi tale about a trip to the earth's core, sans any primeval jungles or dinosaurs.

Why I Watched It: I was in the mood for pretty visuals.

What I Thought: It delivered on the visuals, but that's about it.

The whole movie was pretty mediocre. Mediocre plot, mediocre performances, and a mostly mediocre cast. Save for Delroy Lindo. I fucking love that guy!

The Core is certainly pretty, but that's really about it.

Highlights: The idea of using WMDs to save the world, Delroy Lindo, Aaron Eckhart, a cheesy fun hacker part, and pretty effects.

Who Should See It: I'd suggest it only to hard core sci-fi fans.

How Soon: Take your time. It's not getting any better and it probably won't get any worse.

The Hand - 1981

What It Is: Stephen King-esque horror film, written and directed by Oliver Stone. Weird huh?

Why I Watched It: Plot synopsis alone.

What I Thought: Not bad.

Here's the plot. A comic artist loses his hand in a car accident and it's never recovered. His disability makes him more and more irritable until he becomes a proper fucker. Because of his growing hate, in addition to it, or for some other unknown reason, his severed hand decides it's time to get revenge on all the people making his life difficult.

How fucking awesome is that?! Unfortunately, as good as the plot is, the movie itself just doesn't pack the punch it should. It's far less disturbing than it should be and simply plays out like Addams Family's "Thing" on a strangling rampage. I got real tired of watching people get strangled by a disembodied hand. Perhaps my expectations were too high?

The one saving grace of the film is a kick ass faux twist at the end. I don't recall any other film doing this, but I've been wrong before.

Did I mention The Hand stars Michael Caine? No? It's probably because his performance really wasn't worth mentioning.

Highlights: The awesome car accident scene. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Who Should See It: Only hardcore Caine fans or people that LOVE Stephen King knock offs.

How Soon: Skip it.

Hamburger Hill - 1987

What It Is: War movie about one of the most pointless battles of the Vietnam war.

Why I Watched It: A sucker for Vietnam films, I hadn't seen it years and recalled it being one of the best.

What I Thought: It's one of the best Vietnam movies I know of!

There are a lot of damn good 'Nam movies. What makes Hamburger Hill so cool, aside from the awesome cast and exceptional performance by Courtney B. Vance, is the film's tight focus. We don't see the soldiers at home and we don't follow them through Basic Training or anything else. We just see a couple days leading up to the battle and the battle itself.

I think it's this focus that allows the movie to cover so much more than battle alone. We see the aloofness of the command structure, we see the mistreatment of new soldiers, we see further mistreatment by protesters at home. Hamburger Hill is as much about the politics of the Vietnam War as it is about the actual battle. And it portrays both with equal prowess.

Great fucking war movie!

Highlights: All the colorful 'Nam slang, a great cast, meaningful violence, good drama, profoundly pointless casualties, and kick ass monologue after kick ass monologue!

Who Should See It: History buffs and war movie fans.

How Soon: Anytime.

Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead - 1990

What It Is: Tim Roth and Gary Oldman in the untold story of Hamlet's most minor characters.

Why I Watched It: Recommended by a trusted friend.

What I Thought: I'm fairly certain that this very funny movie would have been even better if I went in knowing something about Hamlet. I have no aversion to Shakespeare, but Hamlet is one of his works I never got around to seeing/reading.

Roth and Oldman are as fantastically excellent as you would expect. I believe this is only the second time I've seen Oldman in a comedy role and the guy's really fucking good.

The plot is lots of fun because it follows the existentialist misadventure's of Hamlet's minor characters and enlightens us on all their ridiculous activities between their appearances in the Hamlet story proper. The very best of which is a Question Match they hold on a tennis court involving a sort of debate following tennis scoring. It sounds weird, but it's amazingly awesome to watch.

Highlights: Roth and Oldman succeeding marvelously in comedy roles, an excellent performance by Richard Dreyfuss deserves mention as well, the Question Match, and the general level of philosophical absurdity throughout the whole picture.

Who Should See It: Fans of Shakespeare, Roth or Oldman. Fans of existential comedies like I Heart Huckabees and Being John Malkovich.

How Soon: Next time you want to do some thinking with your laughing.

Cloverfield - 2008

What It Is: A street view of a giant monster attacking New York.

Why I Watched It: It had an interesting concept and people just wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.

What I Thought: A fresh perspective on the "giant monster attacks New York" movie. The shaky camera wasn't quite as bad some viewers were saying, but parts of the film were still difficult to watch. All in all, the interesting viewpoint of the film's action made the unpleasant camera work sufferable.

Highlights: Spooky subway tunnels, helpful military, and lots of death.

Who Should See It: Giant Monster Movie fans and film buffs looking for a new spin on an old genre.

How Soon: Whenever.

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song - 1971

What It Is: Melvin Van Peebles' classic indy flick that basically started the blaxploitation genre.

Why I Watched It: It's a classic piece of film history.

What I Thought: Awe inspiring.

The film, considered by many to be the origin of black film making, begins with a simple dedication: "This film is dedicated to all the Brothers and Sisters who have had enough of the Man."

That's exactly what Sweet Sweetback is about. Sweetback is a brother in the wrong place at the wrong time. When the white cops begin hassling him, he decides he's just not going to take it anymore. In Melvin Van Peebles' own words, it's "about a brother getting the Man's foot out of his ass."

The film was a surprisingly huge box office success and it's revenue was due almost entirely to the black community alone. Peebles put it best, "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song made a zillion dollars before four white people had ever seen it." The film grossed $4,100,000 at the box office, encouraging a predominantly white Hollywood to begin paying a little more attention to black audiences.

When Van Peebles sat down to write the film, he came up with a list of things to consider. The first three were most important:

1. "No Cop Out" - He wanted to tell it like it is, without pulling punches.
2. "Must Look As Good As Anything Chuck Ever Did" - Chuck means whitey.
3. "Entertainment-Wise, a Mother Fucker" - I think he succeeded.

Watch the fucking movie! The movie is rough and raw, but also very real. Don't expect Hollywood gloss and happy endings, but take a little glance at true film history!

Dig This: "They bled your brother... they bled your sister... But they won't bleed me!"

Who Should See It: Blaxploitation fans, film history buffs, and anyone that wants to stick it to The Man!

How Soon: Grab the DVD when you're ready for something unusual.

Thriller - A Cruel Picture (Thriller - En Grym Film) - 1973

What It Is: The classic Swedish revenge film that inspired much of Tarantino's Kill Bill.

Why I Watched It: See Kill Bill comment above.

What I Thought: Excellent!

Thriller is an awesome revenge flick full of violence, drugs, retribution, and... surprisingly... hardcore sex.

A young girl is literally picked up off the side of the road, drugged up, hooked on heroin and forced to work as a prostitute. Her pimp makes one huge mistake and gives her a free day each week and a little spending cash. She uses that day to pick up some useful skills like driving, shooting, and hand-to-hand combat.

Why does she wish to learn these things? Let's just say her pimp isn't going to be happy when he finds out and neither will her customers.

Highlights: Sex and Violence with none of that silly Rock and Roll to get in the way!

Who Should See It: Revenge fans and cult movie buffs!

How Soon: Grab the DVD whenever, it's a great film.

In Bruges - 2008

What It Is: A dark comedy with Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell as hit men hiding out In Bruges after a job.

Why I Watched It: A very good friend with very good taste recommended it. That's enough for me!

What I Thought: Check the genre tags at the bottom of this post and you'll see just how much stuff was going on in the film. The thing is, all that shit actually worked together and the movie was really good!

First off, the film was just the kind of smart, quick, and funny that reminded me of all the good Guy Ritchie movies. Secondly, the movie just wouldn't have been possible with shoddy actors and everyone held up there end for the film. Brenden Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes were good as usual, but Colin Farrell deserves special mention.

Despite what a friend of mine thought, I thought Farrell played against type very well. He's usually Mr. SexyCoolGuy in roles that could be filled by whoever the trendiest Hollywooder happens to be at the time. For In Bruges, he was a funny, pitiable, and just about anything but cool. I was impressed. I didn't know the guy had it in him!

Highlights: Shocking violence mixed with razor wit, slapstick hilarity, and the "fantasy world" setting of Bruges.

Who Should See It: Fans of Farrell, Gleeson, or Fiennes as well as dark comedy lovers.

How Soon: Catch it whenever you can!

We Own The Night - 2007

What It Is: Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix cop movie that is considerably better than its reviews and box office gross would indicate.

Why I Watched It: Wahlberg's dramatic roles have been amazing lately!

What I Thought: Wahlberg, Joaquin, Eva Mendes, and Robert Duvall don't leave much to be desired in a film. It was a good story about a club owner that's enjoying the nightlife until a powerful drug dealer puts a hit on his cop brother and father. The club owner is torn between revenge for his family and his own desire to live a safe life. When safe is no longer an option he's faced with the choice between becoming a cop or staying a victim.

Many of the directions and decisions in the movie were surprising and all the drama is punctuated with surprisingly intense action. I really don't understand why this movie didn't get a better reception. It's not as universally awesome as The Departed, but it is a really intense cop movie filled with excellent dramatic performances.

Highlights: The really gritty, graphic, and intense action sequences punctuating a good drama/revenge flick.

Who Should See It: Fans Wahlberg or Joaquin and action, cop, or revenge movie buffs.

How Soon: Grab the DVD whenever you wish!

Gone Baby Gone - 2007

What It Is: A kidnapping mystery set in Boston, directed by *cough* Ben Affleck.

Why I Watched It: A reliable source told me it was surprisingly good.

What I Thought: Reliability goes a long way, it was good!

A little girl is kidnapped. A PI is hired to find her. He ends up digging into layer upon layer of cover up and conspiracy that twists the plot at least 3 different times. Awesome!

I really can't say enough about the plot twists and unfolding mystery of the story. It was one of the most interesting, involved, and surprising mysteries I've seen in a long time. So many modern films focus so heavily on a big reveal at the end, that they forget to make the most of the rest of the film. Gone Baby Gone doesn't have that problem. Layers upon layers my friend.

Casey Affleck is amazing as the private detective put on the case of a missing girl. I was very pleased to see that his partner/girlfriend in the film is the too-awesome-for-words Michelle Monaghan (from Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang)! Aside from these two badass leads, Gone Baby Gone features some incredible supporting performances by Ed Harris, Titus Welliver, and the always good Morgan Freeman, and Amy Ryan who earned herself a Best Supporting Actress nomination for the part. If you haven't gotten the picture, the acting in the movie is well above par.

The last thing that needs addressed is the moral questions presented in Gone Baby Gone. Many movies give you an interesting moral dilemma to discuss with your friends afterward. At the end of Seven, we're left wondering if what Pitt's character did to Spacey was right, wrong or somewhere in between. Gone Baby Gone gives us a hell of a moral quandary about halfway through the film, inviting you to decide whether the protagonist did the right thing. Then it compounds the issue further, blurring the black and white choices to increase the grey area. Then later, another revelation increases the grey area even more. By the end of the film, the moral issue is so grey there simply is no right or wrong. At that point, Gone Baby Gone invites you to ponder what the "right" decision is, when there is no "right" decision.

When the movie ended, it left me in a deeper state of reflection and general fucked-up-ness than even Requiem For A Dream had. That's fucking powerful!

Highlights: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, layers of mystery and one giant of a moral dilemma!

Who Should See It: Mystery fans and people that enjoy having a LOT to talk about after a film.

How Soon: Whenever you're ready for one of the best films of 2007!

There Will Be Blood - 2007

What It Is: A period piece about an oil tycoon's descent into madness.

Why I Watched It: After Gangs of New York, I'll watch Daniel Day-Lewis in anything!

What I Thought: Amazing!

I thought the movie was supposed to be a biopic about an old dude that was really into oil. I was wrong.

There Will Be Blood starts with some pretty landscape shots combined with music that can only be described as harrowing. It was an odd choice and the first act of the film felt like it was scored wrong. About halfway through though, once the story had time to unfold a bit, I turned to my friend and said "I get the feeling the movie's going to change to fit this crazy music." I was right.

Right off the bat, the movie makes two promises. The first is made by the film's title. The second promise comes from it's score, some of the eeriest fucking music I've ever heard. On both of these promises, it delivers beautifully.

Watch this movie. Watch a desperate man transition into an ambitious man and then a truly evil man. Watch an award-worthy performance by Daniel Day-Lewis. And through it all, keep reminding yourself... There Will Be Blood.

Highlights: Day-Lewis and a ridiculously good Paul Dano, the super unsettling background music, and one man's roller coaster ride to hubris!

Who Should See It: People that like good stories, good performances, and good movies in general.

How Soon: As soon as you're ready for it!

The Warriors - 1979

What It Is: A great 70's flick about a group of wayward soldiers that must fight their way home, over 100 miles of turf controlled by every other gang in the city.

Why I Watched It: It was a favorite when I was I kid and a friend raved about the new Director's Cut version.

What I Thought: The Director's Cut makes a good movie simply fucking incredible!

The Warriors is a colorful, sometimes moving, sometimes cheesy story of violence, mayhem, revenge, adventure, betrayal, blah, blah, blah. The costumes are crazy over-the-top, but that's all part of the fun. The dialogue is stiff but it lends itself to the surrealism of the whole production. The 70's soundtrack is awesome! Last but not least... the mostly deserted streets of 70's New York provide a surreal backdrop for the whole show.

The story is an adaptation of the Greek tale Anabasis by Xenophon. I didn't know this when I was a kid, but I always felt there was a certain epic quality to the film that made it so moving and enjoyable. The new DVD demonstrates this connection nicely.

Highlights: The cast, the story, the setting, the costumes, and the dialogue come together famously, but one line from a very coked up Rogue is simply unforgettable!

Who Should See It: Action fans and anyone that enjoys a good epic myth.

How Soon: As soon as possible!

The Warriors (The Ultimate Director's Cut)

Assault on Precinct 13 - 1976

What It Is: John Carpenter's second film and a classic action/horror movie.

Why I Watched It: Cause it is a flagship title in one of my favorite sub-genres, siege movies.

What I Thought: This movie holds up surprisingly well for being 30 years old. It's just as chilling, unsettling, spooky, and classic as it was originally.

Since precinct 13 is moving to a new building, only a skeleton crew is left around for the place's last night. An unexpected guest arrives and the crew soon discovers he's being hounded by the toughest street gang in L.A. The good guys have to team up with the bad or no one will make it out alive.

It's got all the best action and themes from Night of the Living Dead 'cept we leave out the zombies and substitute intelligent, cooperative, gang bangers with automatic weapons!

Highlights: Napoleon, a non-comical strong black lead, and the first death of the film proving the movie is going to take an unexpected route.

Who Should See It: Carpenter fans, action fans, and horror fans!

How Soon: Right now!

Assault on Precinct 13 (Special Edition)

The Bow (Hwal) - 2005

What It Is: A very strange yet beautiful coming-of-age story.

Why I Watched It: Every once in a while, a movie arrives from Netflix and I don't have the slightest idea why I queued it.

What I Thought: Although the story was masterfully told, I can't shake the feeling that some important element was missing from the film.

The movie is very simple. A fishing boat captain uses his bow to scare passengers away from his young female ward. The old man isn't entirely wholesome of course, he plans on marrying her when she turns 17. The young girl has no problem with this until a handsome boy books a fishing trip and she falls for him. Does the old man stick with his plan or let the young girl live her own life? The answer may surprise you.

Like a Zen koan, the film's simplicity is its beauty. The Bow is Korean minimalist storytelling at its finest. The entire movie takes place on the boat. The cast consists of only 3 notable characters with only another 10 or so for color. Best of all though, the young girl and the old man never speak. Their entire emotional story is told through expression, action, and music. The Bow doesn't bog down with unnecessary dialogue because sometimes a story is simply more effective without out.

The Bow is a powerful poem of a film the culminates with an extremely bizarre, unexpected, yet equally beautiful ending. The Bow was really good, but I can't help but think that a less bizarre ending would have topped of the story better.

Highlights: Silent yet powerful performances from the leads, beautiful backdrops, an intriguing divination ritual, and an ending rife with conversation fodder.

Who Should See It: Artsy types, romantics, and fans of bizarre Asian cinema.

How Soon: No rush.

Death Sentence - 2007

What It Is: Kevin Bacon's vigilante justice movie.

Why I Watched It: I dig revenge movies and the grapevine had lots of good things to say about the film.

What I Thought: It was a pretty good revenge flick. Kevin Bacon has never been one to draw me to a film, but he's never been a reason to avoid one either. He was convincing throughout his progression from family man, to victim, to angel of death.

The story follows Kevin Bacon as he watches his son die at the hands of a street gang, then hunt his son's killer, then fail to protect his family when the street gang seeks vengeance of its own, and finally transform into a determined killer. The fact that Bacon practically transforms into the very thing he hates is a strong message throughout the film. Parallels are often drawn between Bacon and the gang's leader. This fact is one of Death Sentence's best qualities.

They hurt someone you love, so you hurt someone they love. Are you no better than them? Are you just like them? These a big theme in the film and it's enough to set the movie well apart from other revenge flicks.

Highlights: A surprise cameo from John Goodman, an amazing quote regarding "the gift of freedom" and very realistic depictions of violence that drive home the realism and prevent Death Sentence from becoming an action movie.

Who Should See It: Revenge fans and Bacon fans.

How Soon: It would make a damn fine rental and allow for some good conversations afterward.

Apocalypto - 2006

What It Is: Crazy Mel Gibson's chase tale set during the downfall of Mayan civilization.

Why I Watched It: I heard surprisingly good things about it from a handful of trusted sources.

What I Thought: The sources were right, it was surprisingly good! The movie follows one man's experience through the beginning of the end for Maya. Don't be thrown off by Gibson's name or the fact that it's subtitled. Apocalypto has a lot more to do with The Fugitive, Most Dangerous Game, or Running Man than it does with Passion of the Christ.

Apocalypto is an action movie and a good one at that. The Mayan language used throughout the film doesn't feel as historical as it feels primal. The movie's about survival, death, revenge, etc.

I also particularly like the film's theme of conquering one's own fear. It's a powerful message that's made considerably more powerful by it's delivery.

Highlights: Flint Sky's last words, "releasing" the prisoners, Jaguar Paw's rebirth as a hero, and the film's constant adrenaline rush!

Who Should See It: Action fans, Joseph Campbell fans, and anyone interested in one man's best guess regarding Mayan culture.

How Soon: Rent it anytime, you won't be sorry!