Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

What It Is: The almost-awesome sequel to the awesome Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

Why I Watched It: The first one was excellent!

What I Thought: Overall, it was good.

It started a little slow, not so funny, and uncomfortably lewd (like twisting in your seat trying to dodge the obscenity flying at you lewd). Eventually, though, H&K2 managed to settle into a good and funny (if sometimes disturbing) groove.

The absolute coolest thing about the film, is that the plot of H&K2 begins approximately 2.5 minutes after the first movie. How awesome is that? I can't recall a single other sequel that literally continued the plot of the first film like that. It was very cool.

Keep in mind, this movie was funny, but the first movie was AWESOME. It's an important distinction.

Highlights: The "My Dick" song, Doogie's back, and . . . the bottomless party!

Who Should See It: Fans of the first film and of brainless humor in general.

How Soon: Whenever you need an easy if unsettling laugh.

Thriller - A Cruel Picture (Thriller - En Grym Film) - 1973

What It Is: The classic Swedish revenge film that inspired much of Tarantino's Kill Bill.

Why I Watched It: See Kill Bill comment above.

What I Thought: Excellent!

Thriller is an awesome revenge flick full of violence, drugs, retribution, and... surprisingly... hardcore sex.

A young girl is literally picked up off the side of the road, drugged up, hooked on heroin and forced to work as a prostitute. Her pimp makes one huge mistake and gives her a free day each week and a little spending cash. She uses that day to pick up some useful skills like driving, shooting, and hand-to-hand combat.

Why does she wish to learn these things? Let's just say her pimp isn't going to be happy when he finds out and neither will her customers.

Highlights: Sex and Violence with none of that silly Rock and Roll to get in the way!

Who Should See It: Revenge fans and cult movie buffs!

How Soon: Grab the DVD whenever, it's a great film.

Free Jimmy (Slipp Jimmy Fri) - 2006

What It Is: Norway's first computer animated feature length film that just happens to be about militant vegans, potheads, bikers, and one junky elephant.

Why I Watched It: Animated junky elephants!

What I Thought: The animation was a bit rough, but I don't feel it detracted from the enjoyment of the story at all. The movie would've been that much better with a little Pixar-style gloss added though.

Free Jimmy was expectedly amoral, refreshingly European, and surprisingly graphic. The movie covered drug addiction pretty well and then surprised me with scenes of CG sex and explosive decapitation. I should probably mention that Free Jimmy is NOT a children's movie.

Despite all of Jimmy's best intentions, the movie still felt lacking. I'm not sure if it was the unpolished animation, the English cast, or the downer ending, but Free Jimmy definitely needed something else. Maybe one of you brave movie sluts will check it out for yourselves and toss an opinion my way?

I'm not joking about the downer ending by the way. I'll go ahead and warn you now. Free Jimmy is like Requiem for a Dream with an animated elephant.

Highlights: Surprise CG sex, anti-American sentiment (an American refers to non-Americans as "ethnically challenged"!), and a Tarantino style crime plot in an animated feature!

Who Should See It: Um, I have no idea. The morbidly curious?

How Soon: ???

Cooley High - 1975

What It Is: "the black American Graffiti" -Netflix.com

Why I Watched It: The movie was pointed to several times during my search for blaxploitation films.

What I Thought: Netflix's description was pretty apt. There's a lot to dig about Cooley High.

Like a typical high school movie, Cooley High is a snapshot of two friends over one hell of a weekend. Glynn Turman's character "Preach" was not only the main character, but his role really made the whole production stand out for me.

There's really not much I can say that "American Graffiti" doesn't cover. It's a good flick. It's dramatic, it rings true, and it's fun. Watch it!

Highlights: Preach being smooth with the ladies, Garrett Morris as "Mr. Mason", and the fake police badge.

Who Should See It: Blaxploitation fans and people that can always watch a good high school movie.

How Soon: It's definitely not going anywhere.

We Own The Night - 2007

What It Is: Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix cop movie that is considerably better than its reviews and box office gross would indicate.

Why I Watched It: Wahlberg's dramatic roles have been amazing lately!

What I Thought: Wahlberg, Joaquin, Eva Mendes, and Robert Duvall don't leave much to be desired in a film. It was a good story about a club owner that's enjoying the nightlife until a powerful drug dealer puts a hit on his cop brother and father. The club owner is torn between revenge for his family and his own desire to live a safe life. When safe is no longer an option he's faced with the choice between becoming a cop or staying a victim.

Many of the directions and decisions in the movie were surprising and all the drama is punctuated with surprisingly intense action. I really don't understand why this movie didn't get a better reception. It's not as universally awesome as The Departed, but it is a really intense cop movie filled with excellent dramatic performances.

Highlights: The really gritty, graphic, and intense action sequences punctuating a good drama/revenge flick.

Who Should See It: Fans Wahlberg or Joaquin and action, cop, or revenge movie buffs.

How Soon: Grab the DVD whenever you wish!

Shrooms - 2007

What It Is: A few American backpackers meet an Irish friend for a nice shroom trip in the woods... and are then stalked by a serial killer.

Why I Watched It: It's a slasher movie about shrooms!

What I Thought: It wasn't a very good horror movie about shrooms.


The film follows the horribly standardized slasher movie plot seen in House of 1000 Corpses, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Touristas, etc. The violence in Shrooms wasn't at all groundbreaking so it had very little to offer aside from the novel concept of having the poor victims be tripping during the whole thing.

The fact that all the survivors were high meant that many strange visuals and scares could be easily justified since the sights didn't actually have to be real at all! It was an interesting twist, but not enough to redeem the movie from mediocrity.

Speaking of twists, there's a decent reveal at the end but again, it just wasn't enough.

Highlights: The reveal and an awesome setting in the mist woods of Ireland.

Who Should See It: I don't know. Bored horror buffs I suppose.

How Soon: No hurry.

American Gangster - 2007

What It Is: Ridley Scott's Godfather-esque gangster flick with Denzel Washington and Russel Crowe.

Why I Watched It: Ridley Scott, Denzel Washington, and Russel Crowe.

What I Thought: So, the movie was good... but it wasn't great. From an educational perspective, the film was awesome since I knew nothing of gangster Frank Lucas before going in. From an entertainment perspective, the movie fell flat.

What American Gangster really lacked was flow. The build and release of tension is a necessary element of drama and without drama you just have a bunch of information on screen. American Gangster didn't feel like a story at all, but it was a damn good documentary!

Highlights: Frank's unexpected bursts of violence, Carla Gugino!, and remembering lessons in... "how to be a gentleman."

Who Should See It: Crowe or Denzel fans and true crime buffs.

How Soon: Wait for DVD.

The Stuff - 1985

What It Is: A horror gem from the 80's involving a mysterious tasty substance the becomes the latest low-calorie dessert craze, and begins turning the populace into zombies.

Why I Watched It: A coworker described the outrageous plot to me and I knew I had to find it!

What I Thought: For being a cheesy movie with a preposterous plot, The Stuff really wasn't too bad. Several parts were damn funny and several other parts featured make-up reminiscent of Cronenberg. Over-the-top performances by Michael Moriarty and Paul Sorvino didn't hurt the film either.

A worthwhile mention involves the debate surrounding possible political satire in the plot. People compare the addictive substance to everything from consumerism to big tobacco.

Highlights: Incredibly quotable lines like "Enough is never enough, of The Stuff," and too many classic B-movie moments to count.

Who Should See It: Fans of 80's style cheese, and people interested in a horror film chock full of political satire and Stuff!

How Soon: Any time.

Across the Universe - 2007

What It Is: A motherfucking Beatles musical!

Why I Watched It: See above comment.

What I Thought: It was amazing!

Across the Universe tells the story of Jude and Lucy, brought together in a bohemian enclave in New York and subsequently torn apart by turbulent politics surrounding the Vietnam War. Much of the story as well as inner feelings of the characters are conveyed through the singing of many awesome Beatles songs. Between the music and the images, the film might as well be a documentary on the raging political climate of the '60s.

The main cast was fantastic, doing all their own singing and acting as well as anyone. The treat was spotting all the star cameos throughout the film when Joe Cocker, Bono, and Selma Hayek popped in to sing a song here and there.

Across the Universe reminded me of Moulin Rouge in all the best possible ways except this film was a little easier to get into since the time period was much more real to me. I don't have any real sense of connection to the Bohemian Revolution in turn-of-the-century France, but 1960's USA I can understand!

Highlights: Star cameos, visual stylings, awesome imagery, and the best soundtrack you could ask for!

Who Should See It: Anyone that liked Moulin Rouge and everyone that likes the Beatles!

How Soon: Right now! It will make a great date movie, but it was equally awesome to see with just a group of friends.

Fat Pizza - 2003

What It Is: Insane Aussie comedy based on the Aussie TV show, Pizza.

Why I Watched It: Tara Tainton told me to.

What I Thought: It's goofy, it's weird, it's off-the-wall, and it's fucked up. I like it!

Fat Pizza is sort of like Half-Baked and Harold & Kumar smashed up with a National Lampoon movie. All the jokes are throw-away one liners, but most are good enough to be worth a laugh. You'll spend half your time and laughing, half your time shaking your head in pity for some of the truly awful jokes, and half your time trying decipher the Australian accents. Yes, that is a lot of halves. Logic doesn't really apply to a movie like this.

I think Fat Pizza's most endearing quality is the narration and frequent asides by it's main character. Paul Fenech wrote and starred in the movie and Fenech seems to be a truly funny man. His commentary and mannerisms are part of what makes Fat Pizza so special. Or specially fucked, if you'd rather.

Highlights: Cop jokes, bad puns, good fun with stereotypes, and a bunch of WTF?! and OMG!! moments.

Who Should See It: Comedy fans, especially fans of low brow humor and drug comedies like Half-Baked or The Chapelle Show.

How Soon: Take your time, save it for a rainy day or just stick it in your Netflix queue.

Fat Pizza (Uncut) [ NON-USA FORMAT, PAL, Reg.4 Import - Australia ]

Netflix DVD Rentals. NO LATE FEES; Free Shipping. Try for FREE!

Haven - 2004

What It Is: A Crash-style tale of the intersecting lives of several people living in the Cayman Islands. A little sex, drugs, rape, violence, and robbery are thrown in to keep things interesting.

Why I Watched It: It had a decent member review on Netflix and someone commented expressly on Orlando Bloom's performance. I was curious to see what he could do with a non-Pirate, non-Elf character.

What I Thought: It was good. Not as good as Crash or Babel of course, but good none the less. Very watchable.

There were at least two main plot lines, one involving Bloom being accused of raping his girlfriend and one involving Bill Paxton as a white collar criminal, but there were about a half dozen sub-plots with various characters. There was definitely a lot to focus on with Haven's decent mixture of tragic love, burglary, gun violence, pride, and tax evasion.

I was pretty impressed by Orlando Bloom. Don't get me wrong, I never thought he was a bad actor, I've just been waiting for him to do more than count on his boyish charm. Although he wasn't outstanding in Haven, it certainly made me realize that the potential is there. We'll see if he ever realizes it.

Highlights: The Cayman accents (very similar to Jamaican) were a fresh change and Bloom did a respectable job with his, a nice twist with Paxton's character, and Bloom's narration involving the history of murder in the Cayman Islands was pretty funny.

Who Should See It: Bloom's fan club, people that enjoy "lives-intersecting" types of drama, fans of Crash, Babel, 21 Grams, or even Kids.

How Soon: Take your time, rent it when you can't find anything worth watching and enjoy the discussions that will be sparked afterward.

Haven

Knocked Up - 2007

Why I Watched It: The trailer looked funny and NUVO gave it a good review.

What I Thought: Knocked Up was really, really funny. I can't say that about most comedies that hit the big screen these days. I knew Knocked Up was Judd Apatow's second movie (40 Year-Old Virgin being the first), but my hopes for a good follow-up were low. Comedy just isn't something Hollywood seems good at lately.

The jokes were a bit crude but that had more to do with the subject matter at hand than poor taste on the writer's part. It was actually kind of interesting because a lot of the jokes involving sex, pregnancy, or childbirth simply would not have been appropriate in any other movie. But that's what Knocked Up is all about! There's a good dichotomy between slacker/smoker Ben Stone (the funny Seth Rogen) and the career focused Alison Scott (the very cute Katherine Heigl) without turning either character into a cliche. In fact, the whole time I was watching Knocked Up I was constantly amazed that the movie stayed consistently funny, interesting, and unique. I get the feeling this exact movie could've been handed to [insert trendy SNL star here] at any stage in the writing, directing, or acting process and this movie would've simply fallen into obscurity. But it didn't, and that's what makes Knocked UP so special.

I think the romance half of the movie really deserves as much mention as the comedy half. Knocked Up was as sweet and touching as it was funny, which says a lot for a movie based around a one-night stand and an unexpected pregnancy. Ben and Alison are total opposites in lifestyle, but they both have genuinely sweet personalities. It turns out they are each what the other needed and some of the film's best moments are when one finally starts to appreciate the other for who they are. Ben's friends as well as Alison's family also do a pretty awesome job of being funny without being cheap.

Highlights: Vegas on shrooms, pinkeye, autoerotic asphyxiation pointers, shopping for gynecologists, Iris Apatow as the coolest fucking little girl in the world, and "Credit bush, that's some rare shit. You almost never see that!"

Who Should See It: Anyone that could use a good laugh and, nowadays, that means everyone. Knocked Up had myself, my chick-flick roommate, and my action-flick friend all laughing at the same time. "You almost never see that!" For it's boundary crossing humor, Knocked Up would be the perfect date movie if it wasn't for the scary preggers stuff and the bad birth control advice. But hell, if your sig[nificant other] can't joke about sex then what the fuck are you doing with them anyway?

How Soon: It's in theaters now, but it'll be just as funny on DVD. If I were you, I'd save it for a slow week during the summer when you find yourself between megablockbuster releases with nothing to watch. It might even be at the second run theaters by then!