Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (Das Parfum – Die Geschichte eines Mörders) - 2006

What It Is: A beautiful, if difficult to explain, German film.

Why I Watched It: Recommended to me by a few close friends.

What I Thought: Incredible!

Perfume tells the story of an orphan in 1700's France with a supernaturally potent sense of smell. He becomes obsessed with cataloguing and experiencing every smell in the world. But there is one smell far more intoxicating than any others, the smell of innocence. Unfortunately, this proves a very difficult smell to preserve and his attempts lead to the murders of a several local virgins.

Perfume was beautifully executed from the uniquely disturbing (and equal parts enthralling) story, to the excellent camera work, and the great performances. This movie was fantastic because of and in addition to its strangeness. What more can you really ask for?

Highlights: Gorgeous girls, an excellent lead by Ben Whishaw, beautifully shot, and an awesomely original story!

Who Should See It: Dark fantasy fans, slasher fans, and crime buffs.

How Soon: Now!

Mad Money - 2008

*I never would've watched this movie voluntarily. So a Mini-Slut graciously provided this review for us!*

What it is: A tale of three women who work for the Federal Reserve who plot to steal the soon-to-be recycled cash.

Why I Watched It: I like Queen Latifah (especially in Chicago) and I assumed that she could do no wrong. Obviously, I was mistaken, but I blame Katie.

What I Thought: Oh dear god, where to begin…First of all, I couldn’t finish it.

I hated all of the characters in the movie, except for Queen Latifah’s character. She was stealing money to pay for better schools for her kids. Diane Keaton was a selfish Upper Middle Class house wife who couldn’t take responsibility for her consumerist lifestyle. Not a very flattering role, I’m more used to you being neurotic and horny. Katie Holmes’s character is a twit. Not a far reach for someone of her acting capacity, but shit I’d lick toilet bowls to get away from Tom Cruise biting my ankles and poking me with toy lasers.

But the story was not very believable. They’d walk out of the Reserve with cash sticking out of their underwear in full sight of everyone, like they were strippers. Who exactly are they fooling? Tom Cruise maybe?

Also they have their facts wrong. According to IMDB: When currency is destroyed at a Federal Reserve, it is carefully accounted for: serial number, denomination, and destroy date. During cash processing, no employee at the Federal Reserve is allowed to be left alone with the money. In Federal Reserve cash processing facilities, multiple denominations of money are never allowed to mingle.

So, my theory is: Katie Holmes paid some poor writer [to give] her a part that was easy to act out so she could get away from her bat-shit crazy husband and his sci-fi nutjob followers. And she must’ve paid Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah a shitload of money to go in on it, to make it look like a legitimate movie. Katie, you are a sly one.

Highlights: The Screensaver on the DVD after I turned it off.

Who Should See It: [She didn't say, but I'm guessing no one.]

How Soon: [Again, she didn't say. I'm guessing never.]

*I'm the Movie Slut and I approve this message. :-P*

Review Dump - March 2008

I can't remember the last time I was this busy. My schedule is just full and it's been hard to find time for reviews. Without including all the boring details, here's the first ever Movie Slut Review Dump. Perhaps I'll give some or all of these titles a proper treatment someday down the road. Meanwhile, I hope you don't find the temporary change of format too offensive.














The Bank Job - 2008
What It Is: Dramatization of a real-life 1971 bank robbery.
What I Thought: A damn fine hiest film.














Hell Comes To Frogtown - 1987
What It Is: Post-apocalyptic cult film starring Rowdy Roddy.
What I Thought: Terrible enough to be pretty fun.














Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le Pacte Des Loups) - 2001
What It Is: Werewolves vs. Native American martial artists, in 18th century France.
What I Thought: Ridiculous...ly awesome!














Night Hawks - 1981
What It Is: Stalone the cop chases Rutger the arsonist.
What I Thought: Good cop movie with a good villain.














Princess Mononoke (Mononoke-Hime)- 1997
What It Is: Anime about nature vs. industry/humanity.
What I Thought: One of the best Anime films ever!














Hard Boiled (Lat Sau San Taam) - 1992
What It Is: John Woo's last film before Hollywood.
What I Thought: Ranking #5 for the highest on-screen body count, what the fuck do you think? One of the greatest action films ever made!














Falling Down - 1993
What It Is: The Warriors with a shirt and tie.
What I Thought: Funny and frightening in the best possible way!














The Quest - 1996
What It Is: Van Damme and Roger Moore in a pulpy adventure flick.
What I Thought: Enjoyable when not taken seriously.














Perfect Creature - 2006
What It Is: The vampire film The Breed should've been.
What I Thought: Weak plot, gorgeous movie.











Planet Earth - 2006
What It Is: Most expensive nature show ever.
What I Thought: Best nature documentary ever!














The Beastmaster - 1982
What It Is: Classic sword and sorcery flick.
What I Thought: A little cheesy, but very very fun.














Targets - 1968
What It Is: Aging Boris Karloff vs. a psycho sniper.
What I Thought: A darkly enjoyable classic.














Doomsday - 2008
What It Is: Another Underworld/Equilibrium/Resident...
What I Thought: Just as good/bad as the movies it rips off.

Thriller - A Cruel Picture (Thriller - En Grym Film) - 1973

What It Is: The classic Swedish revenge film that inspired much of Tarantino's Kill Bill.

Why I Watched It: See Kill Bill comment above.

What I Thought: Excellent!

Thriller is an awesome revenge flick full of violence, drugs, retribution, and... surprisingly... hardcore sex.

A young girl is literally picked up off the side of the road, drugged up, hooked on heroin and forced to work as a prostitute. Her pimp makes one huge mistake and gives her a free day each week and a little spending cash. She uses that day to pick up some useful skills like driving, shooting, and hand-to-hand combat.

Why does she wish to learn these things? Let's just say her pimp isn't going to be happy when he finds out and neither will her customers.

Highlights: Sex and Violence with none of that silly Rock and Roll to get in the way!

Who Should See It: Revenge fans and cult movie buffs!

How Soon: Grab the DVD whenever, it's a great film.

Shaft In Africa - 1973

What It Is: The exciting but very different 3rd part of the Shaft trilogy.

Why I Watched It: I dug the first two. A lot.

What I Thought: Shaft in Africa wasn't the cream of the blaxploitation crop like the first two were, but it was still pretty good. Surprisingly, Shaft In Africa played more like a Bond film than a Shaft movie.

What's wrong with that? Not a damn thing, but if you're expecting a funky blaxploitation classic then you're looking in the wrong place.

I won't bother going into every Bond-like detail of the film. If you enjoy classic Bond films, then you'll dig Shaft In Africa. Plain and simple.

Dig This: A naked stick fight with its own choreographer, Bond villains, Bond gadgets, a Bond girl, and Shaft... in Africa!

Who Should See It: Shaft fans and Bond fans.

How Soon: Whenever

In Bruges - 2008

What It Is: A dark comedy with Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell as hit men hiding out In Bruges after a job.

Why I Watched It: A very good friend with very good taste recommended it. That's enough for me!

What I Thought: Check the genre tags at the bottom of this post and you'll see just how much stuff was going on in the film. The thing is, all that shit actually worked together and the movie was really good!

First off, the film was just the kind of smart, quick, and funny that reminded me of all the good Guy Ritchie movies. Secondly, the movie just wouldn't have been possible with shoddy actors and everyone held up there end for the film. Brenden Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes were good as usual, but Colin Farrell deserves special mention.

Despite what a friend of mine thought, I thought Farrell played against type very well. He's usually Mr. SexyCoolGuy in roles that could be filled by whoever the trendiest Hollywooder happens to be at the time. For In Bruges, he was a funny, pitiable, and just about anything but cool. I was impressed. I didn't know the guy had it in him!

Highlights: Shocking violence mixed with razor wit, slapstick hilarity, and the "fantasy world" setting of Bruges.

Who Should See It: Fans of Farrell, Gleeson, or Fiennes as well as dark comedy lovers.

How Soon: Catch it whenever you can!

We Own The Night - 2007

What It Is: Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix cop movie that is considerably better than its reviews and box office gross would indicate.

Why I Watched It: Wahlberg's dramatic roles have been amazing lately!

What I Thought: Wahlberg, Joaquin, Eva Mendes, and Robert Duvall don't leave much to be desired in a film. It was a good story about a club owner that's enjoying the nightlife until a powerful drug dealer puts a hit on his cop brother and father. The club owner is torn between revenge for his family and his own desire to live a safe life. When safe is no longer an option he's faced with the choice between becoming a cop or staying a victim.

Many of the directions and decisions in the movie were surprising and all the drama is punctuated with surprisingly intense action. I really don't understand why this movie didn't get a better reception. It's not as universally awesome as The Departed, but it is a really intense cop movie filled with excellent dramatic performances.

Highlights: The really gritty, graphic, and intense action sequences punctuating a good drama/revenge flick.

Who Should See It: Fans Wahlberg or Joaquin and action, cop, or revenge movie buffs.

How Soon: Grab the DVD whenever you wish!

Shaft's Big Score! - 1972

What It Is: The bigger, flashier sequel to Shaft.

Why I Watched It: Blaxploitation month, baby!

What I Thought: In typical sequel fashion, Shaft's Big Score! had more explosions, more women, and more action than the first movie. Everything that was loveable from the first film, from Bumpy Jonas to Shaft smooth jiving the ladies, was back for more in the sequal.

A decent crook runs a small numbers racket out in Queens until his partner decides to blow him up so he can take over the business. Unfortunately for the partner, the crook was good friends with John Shaft.

Everything I said about Shaft easily holds true for the sequel, save for one thing. Isaac Hayes didn't do the music for Shaft's Big Score! so it wasn't near as good as the soundtrack for its predecessor. Despite this one drawback, the soundtrack isn't bad and the movie itself is very watchable.

Dig This: Richard Roundtree and Moses Gunn return for the sequel and there are way more guns, naked women, explosions, and helicopters than the first one!

Who Should See It: Fans of the first one will definitely dig the sequel.

How Soon: Anytime.

Gone Baby Gone - 2007

What It Is: A kidnapping mystery set in Boston, directed by *cough* Ben Affleck.

Why I Watched It: A reliable source told me it was surprisingly good.

What I Thought: Reliability goes a long way, it was good!

A little girl is kidnapped. A PI is hired to find her. He ends up digging into layer upon layer of cover up and conspiracy that twists the plot at least 3 different times. Awesome!

I really can't say enough about the plot twists and unfolding mystery of the story. It was one of the most interesting, involved, and surprising mysteries I've seen in a long time. So many modern films focus so heavily on a big reveal at the end, that they forget to make the most of the rest of the film. Gone Baby Gone doesn't have that problem. Layers upon layers my friend.

Casey Affleck is amazing as the private detective put on the case of a missing girl. I was very pleased to see that his partner/girlfriend in the film is the too-awesome-for-words Michelle Monaghan (from Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang)! Aside from these two badass leads, Gone Baby Gone features some incredible supporting performances by Ed Harris, Titus Welliver, and the always good Morgan Freeman, and Amy Ryan who earned herself a Best Supporting Actress nomination for the part. If you haven't gotten the picture, the acting in the movie is well above par.

The last thing that needs addressed is the moral questions presented in Gone Baby Gone. Many movies give you an interesting moral dilemma to discuss with your friends afterward. At the end of Seven, we're left wondering if what Pitt's character did to Spacey was right, wrong or somewhere in between. Gone Baby Gone gives us a hell of a moral quandary about halfway through the film, inviting you to decide whether the protagonist did the right thing. Then it compounds the issue further, blurring the black and white choices to increase the grey area. Then later, another revelation increases the grey area even more. By the end of the film, the moral issue is so grey there simply is no right or wrong. At that point, Gone Baby Gone invites you to ponder what the "right" decision is, when there is no "right" decision.

When the movie ended, it left me in a deeper state of reflection and general fucked-up-ness than even Requiem For A Dream had. That's fucking powerful!

Highlights: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, layers of mystery and one giant of a moral dilemma!

Who Should See It: Mystery fans and people that enjoy having a LOT to talk about after a film.

How Soon: Whenever you're ready for one of the best films of 2007!

Shaft - 1971

What It Is: One of the two movies that started it all. A quintessential blaxploitation film.

Why I Watched It: It's Black History Month, baby. You dig?

What I Thought: For an almost 40-year-old movie, Shaft has just enough action, comedy, and mystery to compete with any modern day tale about a private dick.

Things are gettin' heavy in Harlem when a bunch of mob suits move in from out of town. The cops aren't down with the jive, so they need a brotha with an ear to the streets. They need a "private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks."

With a crime boss named "Bumpy" and a male lead bedding more chicks than James Bond, what more could you want from a blaxploitation film? An award winning theme song from Isaac (fucking) Hayes, that's what! And when I say award winning, I'm talking an Oscar for Best Music: Song. That's right kids, Isaac Hayes won an Academy Award for being "a bad mother... Shut your mouth!"

In some ways, the 70's were pretty fucking cool...

Dig This: Simply AMAZING soundtrack, Richard Roundtree's performance as John Shaft is basically the mold for every badass anti-hero type since, and 'groovy boobs' with the line "close it yourself, shitty!"

Who Should See It: Fans of detective stories, cop movies, blaxploitation films, and groovy... soundtracks!

How Soon: Grab the DVD whenever you need to dig a cool cat that don't take jive from nobody!

Death Sentence - 2007

What It Is: Kevin Bacon's vigilante justice movie.

Why I Watched It: I dig revenge movies and the grapevine had lots of good things to say about the film.

What I Thought: It was a pretty good revenge flick. Kevin Bacon has never been one to draw me to a film, but he's never been a reason to avoid one either. He was convincing throughout his progression from family man, to victim, to angel of death.

The story follows Kevin Bacon as he watches his son die at the hands of a street gang, then hunt his son's killer, then fail to protect his family when the street gang seeks vengeance of its own, and finally transform into a determined killer. The fact that Bacon practically transforms into the very thing he hates is a strong message throughout the film. Parallels are often drawn between Bacon and the gang's leader. This fact is one of Death Sentence's best qualities.

They hurt someone you love, so you hurt someone they love. Are you no better than them? Are you just like them? These a big theme in the film and it's enough to set the movie well apart from other revenge flicks.

Highlights: A surprise cameo from John Goodman, an amazing quote regarding "the gift of freedom" and very realistic depictions of violence that drive home the realism and prevent Death Sentence from becoming an action movie.

Who Should See It: Revenge fans and Bacon fans.

How Soon: It would make a damn fine rental and allow for some good conversations afterward.

No Country for Old Men - 2007

What It Is: An intense Coen brothers (Fargo, Miller's Crossing...) drama based on the novel by the same name.

Why I Watched It: It was enough that it was a Coen brothers film, but I was also curious about the now infamous "ending" that has audiences in a twist.

What I Thought: No Country was good, really good.

The movie follows a guy that happens upon a drug deal gone wrong and decides to run off with the cash he finds. Interested parties send a psycho after him and a haggard old cop tries to protect him. This synopsis, does no justice to the film whatsoever. Those were the images on the screen, but they were definitely not what the movie is about.

I think No Country for Old Men was really about violence, death, crime, and murder and how frequently futile it can be to understand them. The movie shows a lot of violence, but often leaves it unexplained. The movie's villain often kills for unknown reasons, or maybe no reason at all. You never see what went wrong at the drug deal, but that's not what the movie's about.

The movie opens with some voice over from Tommy Lee Jones' sheriff character talking about how criminal motive is often unknowable. No Country conveys that exact same feeling to the audience by leaving much of the "plot" unexplained. The movie ends with almost no resolution whatsoever, but real life doesn't always wrap things in a bow.

Aside from all the story stuff, the whole production was executed masterfully. Josh Brolin was very enjoyable as the "protagonist that isn't really", Tommy Lee Jones was a fantastic grizzled old sheriff. But Javier Bardem simply stole the show. He was the hired killer trying to track down the money and was one of the best, creepiest, most disturbing villains I have ever seen on film. Amazing.

Highlights: Inexplicable violence, pulse pounding gunfights, quotable dialogue, and Javier Bardem's entry into the cinema villains hall of fame!

Who Should See It: Coen brothers fans, independent movie buffs, and anybody that wants to ponder why bad guys do what they do.

How Soon: If you're looking for a meaningful film, there's not much else at the theater now. But I think the message will still be there on DVD.

American Gangster - 2007

What It Is: Ridley Scott's Godfather-esque gangster flick with Denzel Washington and Russel Crowe.

Why I Watched It: Ridley Scott, Denzel Washington, and Russel Crowe.

What I Thought: So, the movie was good... but it wasn't great. From an educational perspective, the film was awesome since I knew nothing of gangster Frank Lucas before going in. From an entertainment perspective, the movie fell flat.

What American Gangster really lacked was flow. The build and release of tension is a necessary element of drama and without drama you just have a bunch of information on screen. American Gangster didn't feel like a story at all, but it was a damn good documentary!

Highlights: Frank's unexpected bursts of violence, Carla Gugino!, and remembering lessons in... "how to be a gentleman."

Who Should See It: Crowe or Denzel fans and true crime buffs.

How Soon: Wait for DVD.

The Killing - 1956

What It Is: Much to my surprise, turns out Stanley Kubrik's first film was a noir crime drama. Who would have thought?

Why I Watched It: Stanley Kubrik.

What I Thought: Often disappointed by the first films of other excellent directors, I honestly wasn't expecting much.

Kubrik didn't disappoint. Not only was The Killing a perfect example of film-noir, but this particular crime story still holds its own against modern greats like Reservoir Dogs and The Usual Suspects. The Killing even features a fractured timeline at the end to heighten suspense!

The movie revolves around criminal Johnny Clay (Sterling Hayden) and his plans to rob a horse racing track. We see him plotting the 'job', recruiting his help, and skillfully executing his plan. Until, of course, the job goes horribly wrong.

Highlights: Sterling Hayden's excellent criminal mastermind, the broken chronology at the film's end, and watching the plan unfold.

Who Should See It: Fans of Kubrik, classic Hollywood, crime movies, and film-noir.

How Soon: Next time you're in the mood for a good heist movie!

The Baron of Arizona - 1950

What It Is: A Vincent Price classic based on the little known true story of a con man that attempted to steal Arizona in the late 1800s.

Why I Watched It: I love con movies!

What I Thought: Vincent Price was incredible and the story of the "Baron" was so preposterous I couldn't take my eyes off the screen!

Anyone that doesn't know the Baron's story should definitely check it out. That dude had some balls!

Highlights: An outrageous plot made even more outrageous by being true!

Who Should See It: Old movie fans, Vincent Price fans, and anyone wanting to learn one of the weirder stories in US history.

How Soon: Save it for an evening of educational nostalgia.

Eastern Promises - 2007

What It Is: A new thriller about a Russian crime syndicate in London.

Why I Watched It: Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts, David Cronenberg, and Steven Knight (writer of Dirty Pretty Things) were all reasons to check it out.

What I Thought: Something's got me a little hung up. I'll try to figure it out...

The acting was amazing and the violence was Cronenberg intense. Yet, something about the story left me feeling like I was missing something.

Dirty Pretty Things was incredible and A History of Violence was fucking awesome. Eastern Promises should've rocked, but it just... didn't. It was good, but just not great. The movie felt unfinished. I'm not talking production, I mean the plot felt unfinished.

When Eastern Promises begins, it's all about Naomi Watts. Viggo's character is little more than a cameo for the first half of the film. As the movie progresses however, we spend less time with Watts and learn more and more about Mortensen. It seemed like the movie ended just when Viggo's character was hitting his defining moment. The Watts storyline was wrapped up, but the Mortenson story was just getting good! I felt robbed!

Eastern Promises was all right, but I think another 20 minutes of Viggo stuff at the end would have really made the film shine.

Highlights: Great performances from all involved and an uncommon dose of male nudity during a bloody and visceral knife fight at a public bath.

Who Should See It: You won't hate the film, but I think Dirty Pretty Things and A History of Violence are much better movies.

How Soon: Whenever.

The Big Hit - 1998

What It Is: An over-the-top action/comedy about a group of hitmen kidnapping a girl... that turns out to be their boss's goddaughter.

Why I Watched It: I watched it in the theater because me and my friends thought it looked flashy, I watched it recently cause I wanted to show my buddy a good Mark Wahlberg movie that no one's heard of.

What I Thought: It was as good as I remembered it. The Big Hit is action packed, stylish, really over-the-top, funny as hell, and just plain FUN!

You may wonder how a supporting cast like Lou Diamond Phillips, Christina Applegate, Antonio Saboto Jr., Avery Brooks and Bokeem Woodbine could make a good film. Well, you're right to wonder. I don't think a single one of them is capable of making a film "good". But smash a bunch of B-movie greats into the same film and you end up with a B-movie so great it might as well be an A!

Highlights: Crunch's new dating take on sex, a hitman that wants to be liked by everyone, outrageous stunt work, and a Lou Diamond that's more Latino than anyone really has a right to be. Did I mention hotties in schoolgirl outfits?

Who Should See It: Action lovers, comedy fans, and people that want to see a non-serious, non-Departed, Wahlberg.

How Soon: When you need a good actiony pick-me-up, gear up your suspension of disbelief and pop in The Big Hit. You won't be sorry!

Unknown - 2006

What It Is: A clever movie about identity and choices.

Why I Watched It: I have no idea. Seriously. Sometimes movies just have a way of... popping up in my Netflix Queue and I can't remember what caused me to put them there. Unknown was one of them.

What I Thought: The acting wasn't wonderful, but it definitely didn't detract from any enjoyment during the film. That's more than I can say about quite a few movies.

The story for Unknown is where the awesome really is! Five guys slowly come back to consciousness, they're locked in a small warehouse, most of them are injured, one is tied to a chair, and one is handcuffed and shot. None of them remember what happened! In the first 10 minutes of the film, they learn that criminals will arrive in a few hours.

It becomes a race to find an exit and a race to remember which side they're on. Who's a criminal and who's a victim?!

Highlights: Trust is handled very nicely and there are a few good twists as people remember things they'd rather not.

Who Should See It: Anybody that wants a good mystery.

How Soon: Put it on your list. You'll be pleasantly surprised when you finally get around to it!

The Way of the Gun - 2000

What It Is: Gritty movie about two broke criminals that risk everything on a kidnapping.

Why I Watched It: I'll watch anything with Benicio Del Toro in it and Ryan Phillippe doesn't suck in the film at all!

What I Thought: The Way of the Gun surprised me in the theater and it surprises me again every time I watch it. Del Toro and Phillippe play two bad guys that you can't help but root for, Juliette Lewis is fucking grating as usual but can be ignored, Taye Diggs plays a bodyguard very reminiscent of his Equilibrium role, and James Caan brings it home as the aging bagman.

There's enough visceral gun play peppering the film to keep from losing focus when the plot drags about. A good portion of the dialogue is memorable and some even quotable. All in all, The Way of the Gun is a little known and hard-hitting action flick owing as much to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid as it does to Pulp Fiction.

Highlights: A fantastic opening scene, semen donation, gritty gun play, a great ending, and James Caan bringing the awesome!

Who Should See It: People that enjoy action/crime dramas like Pulp Fiction, Snatch, etc.

How Soon: Whenever you feel like snagging the DVD.

The Way of the Gun

Reservoir Dogs - 1992

What It Is: A glorious Tarantino film about a group of criminals dealing with a robbery gone very, very bad.

Why I Watched It: Cause it's fucking awesome!

What I Thought: Intensely enjoyable, as always. The movie is filled with violence and profanity in all the best ways, but the coolest thing is that all the blood is just color to a film that's really about trust.

Six men gather for a diamond robbery, but the cops show up too early and a blood bath ensues. The majority of the movie takes place at the rendezvous spot after the robbery with the men desperately trying to determine how it all went wrong. Obviously, one of them is working with the cops, but which one?

Reservoir Dogs features some super slick performances by Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi, Chris Penn, and Michael Madsen. The movie is not about the robbery, it's about the group of criminals themselves. It's about the team caving in on itself when everything goes wrong. Reservoir Dogs is all about the characters and the awesome cast easily delivers.

Highlights: Infinitely quotable, the ear scene, the Madonna speech, and the humorous anecdote.

Who Should See It: Action fans, crime movie fans, Tarantino buffs, people that can appreciate an awesome performance, and people that aren't afraid of the word fuck.

How Soon: As soon as possible. Stories like this are what film is all about!

Reservoir Dogs (15th Anniversary 2-Disc Special Edition)