Streets of Fire - 1984

What It Is: "A Rock & Roll Fable"

Why I Watched It: Being huge Warriors fans, we took a chance on another movie directed by Walter Hill.

What I Thought: Almost too awesome for words!

Streets of Fire is just fucking bizarre. So much of the movie was terrible (stiff acting, dialogue, etc), yet it's got more style than 95% of the movies made today. It's almost as if all the bad parts of the movie were blended together in such a skillful way that the end result was far, far greater than it's parts.

The plot involves a singer (Diane Lane) who's kidnapped by a gang (led by Willem Dafoe). The singer's friend sends a letter to her soldier-for-hire brother (Michael Pare) asking for help. The brother swaggers into town like so many other action hero loners to rescue the girl and defeat the Bombers. The plot felt fundamentally similar to a million other fantasy movies, action movies, and westerns, but the template of 80's rock and roll kept it fresh and fun.

I really don't know what else to say. This movie produced a feeling that is hard to put into words. Rest assured though, it was a really fucking good feeling.

Highlights: Pare as an awesome renegade hero type, Dafoe as a cool (if mildly androgynous) villain, exploding shotgun shells, scrappy sidekicks, awesomely cheesy dialogue, and a fucking sledge hammer duel!

Who Should See It: 80s movie fans and fans of other (not-so) musicals.

How Soon: Anytime!

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - 2007

What It Is: Film version of a twisted Broadway musical about a 19th-century, revenge fueled, serial killing barber that bakes his victims into meat pies and serves them back to the public.

Why I Watched It: In the words of one of my very favorite actors, and the star of this cinematic gem, "How many chances do you get at a musical about a serial killer?"

What I Thought: Amazing! Incredibly! Expletive! After watching a high school production of Guys and Dolls, then seeing Moulin Rouge and the recent Chicago and now Sweeney Todd, I will officially go on record to profess my love for musicals. Of course, this should really be interpreted as a love for "good" musicals and Sweeney Todd was the best I've seen to date!

Surprisingly though, Sweeney Todd was more than a good musical. It was a good horror film, it was a fantastic revenge story and incredibly suspenseful. Sweeney Todd is fucking brilliant!

Highlights: Laughing in the face of the macabre, buckets of blood, an amazing Johnny Depp, a slew of cameos, awesome songs, a great revenge tale, and one hell of a villain!

Who Should See It: Depp's legion of fans and anyone that's as intrigued by the slasher/musical combination as I was. Seriously, if you're the slightest bit curious, you'll love the movie!

How Soon: An amazing film, just in time for the holidays! Use it as an escape when the big reunited family events start to wear on your patience. Nothin' says relief like tons of laughs and tons of blood.

The Ten - 2007

What It Is: A comedy featuring many alums from The State in ten (commandment-inspired) stories.

Why I Watched It: Cause it was by the crew from The State.

What I Thought: It was weird, really weird, but it was pretty fucking funny.

The film's format was rather novel: ten short stories (almost like little comedy skits), each one based around one of the ten commandments, with subsequent stories bringing back previous characters and plot lines.

I don't know what else to say, it was just as oddly funny as The State and Wet Hot American Summer (the other movie they did).

Highlights: Jesus, living in a black void, being stuck in the ground, prison bitches and . . . va-hee-na!

Who Should See It: Anybody that loves to laugh, epsecially when the joke isn't exactly funny but laughing seems like the only applicable response.

How Soon: Vvvva-hee-na...

Enchanted - 2007

*I had no desire to see this movie, so a Mini-Slut stepped in for me...*

What It Is: A Disney-mocks-Disney, cutesy children’s movie.

Why I Watched It: Because I can’t resist children’s movies, and there is a small romantic part of me that has yet to die.

What I Thought: Well, I giggled and as the movie slut will tell you, that’s as good a recommendation as any coming from me.

Enchanted is about a fairy tale princess-to-be, Giselle, who meets and falls in love with Prince Edward in the opening of the movie. The evil stepmother, Queen Narissa, does not want to lose her throne when the prince marries, so she pushes Giselle down a well and she pops out of a manhole in Manhattan. Throughout the movie, the other characters end up popping out of the same manhole and it becomes sort of a running joke. Anyway, she’s in NYC and we’re shown, through various interactions with locals, how different it is from the fairy tale, happily ever after sort of world. Giselle is taken in by Robert and his daughter Morgan and they all begin to change each others’ lives.

Disney throws in song and dance numbers to bring a little magic to the city and to Robert’s life. I think the end result was supposed to show us that even though it’s a cold world we live in, there can still be a little love, romance, and magic if we all just believe. Or something.

Enchanted provided a nice 107 minute escape from both reality and my mother’s house the day after Thanksgiving. Although, it did have the effect of making me want true love’s kiss. Where’s MY prince charming?

Highlights: the adorable exchange between Giselle and Morgan in the hair salon, any scene with Pip the chipmunk, and for Grey’s Anatomy fans there’s that McDreamy fellow.

Who Should See It: Kids, those with kids, or those who like to watch movies while surrounded by a theatre full of them (what could possibly beat the giggling of small children?).

How Soon: If you’re going to see it, do it while it’s still in theatres. It would be less entertaining without childish giggles in the background (or rent it and invite me over, I’ll giggle for you).

*This Mini-Slut Review come from NY Diva, Disney's target audience.*

Monster Dog - 1984

What It Is: A bad werewolf movie starring 80s rocker Alice Cooper.

Why I Watched It: It was a cheesy werewolf movie with a cheesy 80s celebrity. How could I not?

What I Thought: Monster Dog was as cheesy as expected but not quite fun enough to be 'good'.

I won't bother detailing the plot because it's basically the same as every other 80s werewolf movie. I will say the movie featured 2 very bad/fun music videos by Mr. Cooper that may be of interest to the general public.

Highlights: Alice Cooper's videos and that's about it.

Who Should See It: Only Alice Cooper fans and people that are determined to see werewolf movies of all sorts, no matter how bad. People like me.

How Soon: Don't bother, there's no need.

Across the Universe - 2007

What It Is: A motherfucking Beatles musical!

Why I Watched It: See above comment.

What I Thought: It was amazing!

Across the Universe tells the story of Jude and Lucy, brought together in a bohemian enclave in New York and subsequently torn apart by turbulent politics surrounding the Vietnam War. Much of the story as well as inner feelings of the characters are conveyed through the singing of many awesome Beatles songs. Between the music and the images, the film might as well be a documentary on the raging political climate of the '60s.

The main cast was fantastic, doing all their own singing and acting as well as anyone. The treat was spotting all the star cameos throughout the film when Joe Cocker, Bono, and Selma Hayek popped in to sing a song here and there.

Across the Universe reminded me of Moulin Rouge in all the best possible ways except this film was a little easier to get into since the time period was much more real to me. I don't have any real sense of connection to the Bohemian Revolution in turn-of-the-century France, but 1960's USA I can understand!

Highlights: Star cameos, visual stylings, awesome imagery, and the best soundtrack you could ask for!

Who Should See It: Anyone that liked Moulin Rouge and everyone that likes the Beatles!

How Soon: Right now! It will make a great date movie, but it was equally awesome to see with just a group of friends.

Flight of the Conchords - 2007

What It Is: A hilarious HBO sitcom featuring the very funny New Zealander music duo by the same name.

Why I Watched It: Tara doesn't send me many recommendations, but I certainly pay attention when she does!

What I Thought: I loved it! Bret and Jemaine are funny as hell!

Their comedy is all delivered with perfectly straight faces as if they aren't aware they're actually telling jokes, think "The Office". Each episode has about 2 songs that all relate to the storyline of that particular show. Even days after watching an episode, I'm still singing the songs!

Check out their MySpace page to hear my favorite Conchords song, "Business Time".

Highlights: The songs, the jokes, their "fan base", and HBO just picked them up for another season!!

Who Should See It: Anybody that likes good music and/or good TV.

How Soon: HBO Sundays or you can watch the episodes online at allFOTC.com!